Herding Cats in JCPenney

Yesterday was a long and tiring day.  It wasn’t because I did anything like real work.  I did something far more exhausting than using my muscles.  I took four boys to buy clothes.  It was like trying to herd cats into a paper bag.  By the end I was ready for a supernap.

In this small town we only have a few options for children’s clothes.  I decided to head over to the smaller than normal JCPenney where they have a pretty decent boys’ department.

Before we left home I discussed with each boy what clothes they need and told them to remember their own list for me.  That wasn’t the best idea because when we got there and I pointed to one of them and said, “OK, what do you need?” He looked at me like it was a foreign concept.  Elijah said, “What do you mean what do I need?”  Uh oh.  New plan.

I ran through the list in my head and pointed at each boy again, “You need 2 pair of jeans, some dress slacks and one shirt.  You need one pair of jeans, some socks and a swim suit,” and so on.  Then Levi says, “What do I need?!”  I told him he doesn’t need anything; we just brought him along for fun.  It was fun alright.  For Levi.

The second thing I noticed, after the fact that I should have written the list down, is that the store was unusually warm.  Within 5 minutes I was looking for a sales flyer to fan myself.  I knew I wouldn’t last long in the heat, but we moms have to suffer for our children and this was going to be one of those suffering times.

We gathered a few things and headed to the little dressing rooms.  There are 2, side by side, little rooms that are the size of a phone booth (kids, a phone booth is a small, “room” outside that is only big enough to hold one person standing up and they used to have them all over America, but then cell phones were invented and now we just stand around talking where everyone can hear us and not paying attention to the cashier at the grocery store).  Noah, at 13, doesn’t want to dress in front of mom, which I understood, so I put him into one dressing room and I went into the one nextdoor with the other boys.  Adam and Elijah immediately freaked.  “Mommy!  You CAN’T watch us get DRESSED!”  Oops.  Sorry.  I’ll just stand out here.  Y’all let me know when you are dressed and ready to show me the clothes on your body.

No problem.  I love standing up in a hot store for an hour while 3 boys that I gave birth to and nursed for over a year worry that I may actually see their stomach.

One of the dressing room doors would open, we’d examine the clothes to check for fit, they’d go back in the room while I went for another size.  I’d get back, knock to let them know I was back with the new size and they would barely crack the door open for me to hand them the next thing.  I felt like I was in a spy movie.

“Here’s your…ahem…pants,” whispering loudly, “knock twice for a new size and I’ll signal if the coast is clear. Over.”

It all got very confusing after a while.  Did Noah have pants yet?  Has Adam tried on the same swim suit twice?  Does JCPenney sell fans so I can just buy one, plug it in and point it straight at me for the duration of this shopping trip?

All the while Levi is constantly dragging me over to the jeans and announcing that THOSE jeans are named after him.

He insisted he should buy them all and take them home.

We finally finished shopping and headed for home.  In the car I told everyone that we weren’t going to take the new clothes into their rooms until we cleaned out the drawers and went through the clothes they already own.  I dragged a chair into the middle of their room, sat down with a glass of iced tea with Sonic ice and had Noah, Adam and Elijah empty out their drawers into piles and I’d help them go through it all and see what we needed to keep and what we could get rid of.

That was a circus act all in itself….clothes flying around the room, “Adam!  I think these pants are yours!” and, “Hey!  There is that brown shirt I’ve been looking for!” until 2 hours later when we had it all finished.  In the end, Noah found his jeans and dress slacks, Adam realized he had an extra swimsuit already and Elijah has more clothes than any 9 year old should own.

I started pulling the clothes out of the JCPenney bag that we had just bought, “Um, Adam you don’t need this swim suit, do you?”  Nope.  “Elijah, you already have dress pants, we don’t need these.” No again.

By the time we were finished with the whole project the only thing we were keeping from our shopping trip to JC Penney is the socks.

Which I could have picked up at Walmart the next time I went grocery shopping.

21 Comments

  1. You’re a better mom that me – I’d rather buy a stack of clothes in various sizes and have them try the clothes on at home and return what they don’t need than take them all to the store to try them on. I bought my son (also Levi) a bag of new socks last month, yet when he left for church camp on Monday, he could only locate one pair. What he did with the other 5 pairs
    is beyond me, since he only changes socks when I tell him to.

  2. Oh Lisa as soon as I saw herding cats I knew exactly what you had done! Shopping with “little” boys… LOL I love it! Yes I remember those days! We did the same exact thing recently at home.. The older two now wear the same exact size so there was much exchanging back and forth deciding who liked what. Sean now has a brand new wardrobe, Ian has half as many clothes as he had (he could have opened his own store…) and Evan can’t wear anything that they have outgrown because not only did they outgrow them they wore them out to the point of rags. So it was time to bring out the single remaining bin of “hand-me-downs” and do you know what we found out….. not a single thing fits. Somehow he grew in and out of them since the last time we checked them in the spring… so later this week we will be off to hit the stores. Just me and my shadow! I love the fact that he does not mind going shopping with me… it nice to know that a cold drink can still entice him to go with me. 🙂

    1. Peggy…LOL! I do that all of the time! I am so bad about forgetting we have some clothes tucked away then they outgrow them before they ever wear them.

      I love what you said about the cold drink. It’s so true! Lisa~

  3. Oh Lisa, you are such a good mama. I grew up with 4 brothers and 1 sister. This reminds me of good times.

  4. oh my word. I will get to do almost exactly this very soon when we make our annual trek to the US where we buy the boys’ clothes once/year. It is oh-so-much-fun when you save it all up like that, and then try to buy jeans that fit them well enough to not fall down in public, but might still fit when it is cold in the reverse season a few months later back in Brazil. There is seriously nothing more fun than trying to guess what size jeans your growing teen or preteen boy might be wearing 6 months from now…..(this year, we are skipping the jeans and will pay arms, legs & other organs to ship them over at the right time. If we trust at-home measurements and on-line size charts.) (and, I totally should just go write my own blog post on this rather than fill up your comment slot…..)

    anyway, all that to say — I so empathize. I’m sorry you endured all that just to net a pair of socks, but glad you kept your sense of humor. 😉

    1. Reader, I always think of you when I do one of these shopping trips. I can’t imagine having to load up on everything I need for the year on one trip. You amaze me! Lisa~

      1. Well, don’t be too amazed! The level of frustration last year, trying to find jeans for my oldest who is in an impossibly in between size right now…..oy. It was so much easier when they were young enough not to have opinions….(and we will not discuss the stress level of shoe shopping, during which I become the worst person on the planet…..)

        But I *did* write a blog post inspired by this, so thank you! 😉

  5. Oh, Lisa!

    I only have two sons, the 23 year old is on his own and the 7 year old (on Friday) doesn’t shop. I buy, he tries on at home. This past week I got him 5 pairs of pants from the consignment shop. It took him 20 minutes to try them on one by one. He had to jump and twist and bounce on the bed and pester his sister…I know you know what I mean.

    Fun story!

    1. Yes Yes! 20 minutes to try on one pair of pants. Then play around for a while and forget what they’re supposed to be doing. Boys are fun aren’t they? Lisa~

  6. You are such a hoot. It takes a lot for me to chortle out loud, but I regularly commence to chortling whenever I come over here! 🙂

    And I would just like to say that Levi has the sweetest face ever!

    Deb M

    1. Deb, I’m glad you can get a good chortle in every once in a while. It’s good for ya! 🙂 Lisa~

  7. I’m double laughing now because so many comments started with the exact two words I thought of: “Oh Lisa!”

    I don’t even like shopping for myself, but shopping with/for my son is even worse. Somehow, things that fit fine in the store don’t fit once we get them home… and cut off the tags… and wash them… and are dressing for church on Sunday morning.

    I feel your pain and agree that Sonic ice covers a multitude of… stuff.

    1. Suzanne, generally I like shopping. It’s fun to go with the girls and they are all excited. The boys just tolerate it. It does kill a bit of the fun, but it’s a nice memory for us all. I don’t let them know I’m exhausted. 🙂 Lisa~

  8. I was sweating just thinking about this process…which I need to do with my 3 daughters soon! Love the description of the phone booth!

  9. I like your photo of Levi with the Levi’s, I wanted to get a little wooden Levi jeans sign when a store was closing down in town, but after making inquiries was told it had to go back to the company, I thought it would look lovely in my Levi’s room!

  10. I died laughing. I have three sons – all grown now 🙁 – so I totally understand that part. Getting hot in the stores – I do that all the time and hate it! I sometimes think they keep the stores hot so we will lose it and make rash decisions just to get out! HA!

    Debbie

    1. Debbie, you may be onto something. If that’s true it’s not working. It just makes me want to leave the store without buying anything.

      You don’t think we’re having hot flashes do you? Surely the problem is the store and not US! Lisa~

Comments are closed.