From One Mom to Another
I’ve been getting lots of questions from moms of little ones. I keep hearing from you that you are overwhelmed and discouraged. I wish I could wrap my arms around each of you and tell you it will be OK. But since I can’t, I am so glad there is One that can.
It’s tough having a whole mess of little kids. No one can really help you and all day long you are trying to hang on to some sense of control, at least enough to get a decent meal on the table and not have any huge emergencies. The standards that you used to have….a clean house and relaxing evenings are gone and replaced with just wanting to be dressed and maybe have a thought that doesn’t involve poop or broken toys.
So sorry for the grainy images…these were all taken before the amazing digital cameras we have now. 🙂Grace, Hope, Patience (weeks old), Jacob & Faith
I’ve been there. I remember when I had Patience, baby number 5 in 7 years. My family and friends wondered what had happened to the old Lisa…the one that was organized and well groomed. She’s gone folks, never to be seen again. Oh sure, I may be able to get a shower these days, but something happens by the time you have your 7th child in 11 years. I’m convince part of my ability to memorize and learn came out with baby number 7, along with other yucky stuff.
Jacob, Grace, Noah (9 mos), Faith, Patience & Hope
But here’s the good news…..it gets better. I want to encourage you to let go of expectations and be yourself. Don’t look around at what others are doing and think you should be doing more. You are raising children and that’s enough for a while. There is time for service outside of the home when they are all big and capable.
Jacob, Faith, Noah, Adam, Patience, Hope, Grace and Elijah (days old)
I know it’s lonely. Try to make a friend or two (not 100) that you can spend time with a couple of days a month. Don’t worry too much about school. Sometimes it won’t get done. That’s OK. The kids are going to be fine and smart and amazing despite your shortcomings. Loving them and being patient and godly is far more important than math or grammar. And believe it or not, they still learn all of that.
The whole family right after Levi was born
Do little things to make it easy on yourself. Use paper plates, have everyone use the same cup all day, limit the amount of toys, do one tiny thing each day that makes you feel better…even if it’s just straightening a shelf. One little thing to make you feel normal. Some days just brushing your teeth will have to be that one thing.
I can’t stress enough the importance of training your children. Teach them to put away their toys when they are told, sit quietly at the dinner table, put their dirty clothes in the hamper, go to bed without trouble, etc. It requires constant reminding and creative discipline, but it pays off…..in their lives as well as yours. You are not only creating a more peaceful home, you are gifting them with self-control and joy.
Also, don’t let your children fool you. They don’t “need” you as much as they would like for you to believe. “Mommy! Mommy!” all day long isn’t necessary. Teach them to wait, get over little problems on their own and sometimes just leave you alone. A little hunger and thirst won’t kill them. If you need a quiet minute they should know, while you love them, you aren’t going to stop what you need to do for their every little whim.
Now that I am past those days of all little ones, I can see how precious those times were….kind of a blur, but precious nonetheless.
Take a breath, enjoy your babies, let your husband know what you need, tell God your troubles and ask Him to show you what you can change to make it better.
And remember…it passes by so quickly!
You can’t be perfect, your kids will have rough days, but the good news is…..you aren’t alone.
What wise and encouraging words from a mom who’s been there! As a mom of four children whose age span is over 20 years, my experiences have been different from yours. But much of your advice is applicable to any mom!
My oldest daughter, however, has five children, the oldest of whom is almost 9. She is, in fact, one of the 31-day bloggers and has blogged all month with the theme “31 Days for the Struggling Mama” (http://from-my-life.blogspot.com/search/label/31%20Days ) in which she shares encouragement and practical ideas.
I am going to send her over here to glean from your wisdom!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Amen, amen, amen.
Wise words indeed! We always taught them that they are important but that the world doesn’t revolve around them, contrary to the modern thinking.
I have a friend with ten children and she has taught them to be on her schedule – now it is time for tabletime, now it is time for outdoor play, etc. They are thriving….
The time with only littles passes quickly…the time spent training will be a blessing. I know because I have 6 kids – the oldest is 22 and the youngest is 6.
Good job, Lisa! This is a great post filled with encouragement for those “in the trenches” with a herd of little ones. It is so important to understand that it is a very intense season, but like all seasons, it will change. I’m sure this will be a great blessing to many moms of many young ones. 🙂
beautifully written.
He is all we need. And He enables us for all He asks of us. And He gives me rest.
Thank you for encouraging to regain my focus on this…particularly difficult day.
Spoken like a Titus 2 woman.
Mothers, train and encourage other mothers.
Isn’t it something how fast life goes? I read advice like this and sometimes catch myself thinking, “Amen, that’s true,” yet feeling like I wasn’t even there myself a couple decades ago. Wow. But I was.
And I am that living witness: Everything is going to be all right. Because of the One Who can put His loving arms about us.
What on earth do people do who don’t know my Jesus?
Lisa,
Thank you! What an encouraging post. I have 6 who are 7 or under (1 isn’t quite done cooking!) and a 13 year old. The large gap between the oldest and the littles has made things easier because I have a helper and harder because my brain is pulled between young adult issues and littles issues. 🙂 With this pregnancy (#7) I’ve really learned to let certain expectations go and it has been so freeing.
Thanks also for the response to my email about ‘doing big things’. I appreciate your time and advice. I’ve enjoyed your blog and will be praying for your family.
I love the journey of watching your kids grow through the pictures…I especially like the last family photo.
I love how the cat snuck into that last family photo 🙂
Lisa, I love you…and I love this post. So, your saying that it’s ok that my kids are watching PBS, we didn’t study George Washington or Botany today, and I just got up from a much needed nap? Thank you! Now, I need to go throw that premade food I got from Sam’s in the oven for dinner.
….and please try and remember, in the guddle of these years, to try and have some fun… please try and enjoy your little ones… As Lisa says, the years will be gone before you know it, and you will want to smile to yourself when you look back over the years.
Blessings to all you mums of little ones
Anne x
I love you. The end. 🙂
I cling to this daily!! Really. When I want to go crazy I tell myself “Lisa, said it will get better.” I continue with the discipline and repeating the same things over and over and I breathe easier knowing that one day I’ll look up and things will be different. But, only because I took the right steps not just because they got older!
Thank you for this post. I only have one (with another on the way) and I am struggling. It is so hard not to have high expectations and not beat yourself up when you don’t even come close to fulfilling them (I mean like miles away). I also really appreciate your Titus 2 heart. I would love to have some moms who have already been successful in loving their husbands and children to take me by the hand and literally sit in my home and help me do things better.
There I was about to slip off to bed when I got this overwhelming urge to see what you’ve been up to lately … I have 19 of your posts waiting in my reader right now … I have been horribly absent and alone and wonderfully busy and your words were everything I needed to hear and more. You are such a blessing in my life. I wonder if you have any idea how many conversations I have with you in my head 🙂 Up there you & I are very close, in my heart too. ~ Stacy
Well said Lisa!
This always makes me think of a quote I like! “The days can be long, but the years are short!” The Lord has blessed me with two children and I can definitely become overwhelmed at times with keeping up with all the little daily details.
Thank you Lisa! You’re a blessing….such an encouragement!
This is my first visit here, and what a blessing and encouragement this post has been. It is just the balm my weary soul (and body) needed for the day (week, month, year…). I have 4 children ages 8months -8 years. We adopted #3 last year and meeting his emotional, training and medical needs is exhausting. Today, I really needed the encouragement.
Lately, I have been struggling with the ‘so much to do, no time to do it’ syndrome as I watch my sisters and others work away in their ministries, while I am at home. Honestly, feeling stuck at home with the same thing day in and out, with no glimmer of hope. Thanks for encouraging me in the trenches of motherhood and helping me to keep it ever present that raising these children for the Lord IS my ministry at this time.
It’s also nice to know that paper plates are must haves. 🙂 I must spend a fortune on them every month! hee hee.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Lisa, what a beautiful post! I have those children aging, and I have a new one, just born in June. I’ve been amazed looking at my older children realizing just how fast this time has flown. When I look back over the years, I smile. It makes me want to grab on to every single moment with my littles. The days will be gone in a wink.
You have a lovely family! <3
As one of the overwhelmed moms sending you questions – thank you, thank you, thank you! We’re putting several of your tips into practice here, and it really helps so much! 🙂
Oh what great advice! I wish someone had shared this with me when my son was younger. Now that my son is older, I try to encourage moms with little ones. It’s so hard to be in the trenches. Thanks for being a Titus 2 Woman!
Hi! This is an amazing article. I read it about 3 months ago, and today is a day that I need to read again something like this.
I have a question for you… I need some advice.
My son is 12 months old and learning how to walk. He’s all over the house. I try to allow him to walk in the family room where I can see him. However, now all he wants to do is walk. Gone are the days of sitting in the pack and play quietly with his toys.
I’m 2 months pregnant with baby#2 and it’s REALLY tiring to run around him. Do I need to teach him to stay still? If so, how? Are boys just more active and NEED to walk around? When does correction/spanking begin? I love my kiddo a lot but I feel like there has to be a way in which he can learn to be still for a while… I just don’t know how to accomplish it.
I sound a little desperate and… I am!
Any wise words are appreciated. 🙂