The Weekend Conference

Lisa's Blog
14 Comments

Contrary to what you might think, I did not drop off of the face of the earth.

This past weekend was a whirlwind of activities.  James and I went to the Texas Homeschool Coalition Leadership Training Conference.  Uh-huh.  Try to say that five times fast.  See why I’m so tired?

It was amazing as far as learning and encouragement and sheer volume of information. I wouldn’t trade a thing, except maybe that I only ate lettuce and James got sick.

I don’t understand men.  These are some of my burning questions:

1)  Why do men make so many loud bodily noises?

2)  Why do they act like the world is crashing down when they have a cold?

3)  Why do they think it is funny to tease their wives as if they were in the 5th grade?

4)  Why can he tell me how to drive but I am not allowed to make suggestions?

5)  Why does my husband in particular find it so amusing to read every street sign between here and Dallas out loud to me and look at me as if he’s said something delightful?  “Ray’s Chicken Parlor, Biker’s General Store, Eddie’s Stop ‘n Shop”  Then he’ll look at me, grin and say it all again with  heavy country accent and laugh as if he’s as funny as Jerry Seinfeld.

You’re not funny, Hon.  Sorry.  I just don’t find it entertaining and let me tell you this once. and. for. all.

I do not think “The Three Stooges” are funny and I never will.

Whew!  I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I took all of my own food to this conference.  I carried my little Glad container of spinach & cold chicken into the dining hall while 100 of my closest new friends chattered on about how good their food was and how they looked forward to the great dessert.  I sat through a session called, “Encouragement by Chocolate” and didn’t eat a thing.  My friends would pile their plates and I just sat there.  I tried not to think about it.  I am pretty sure it is exactly what the military does to torture our enemies.

And do you want to know the worst part?  This next sentence is not for the faint of heart.  I just want to warn you in advance of the horribleness of what I am about to say….

I gained half a pound!!!!

Is that not the saddest, most heartbreaking thing you have ever heard?

Let’s not talk about it anymore.

This week I have my last crazy busy week of the season.  On Wednesday Grace and I are co-hosting a bridal shower for one of her good friends.  Yes, that’s right, as if gaining weight isn’t bad enough, I have to deal with the fact that my daughter’s friends are starting to get married.  I am not happy about this. It makes me feel old.

Being fat AND old and married to a sick man is too much for one week.

14 Comments

  2. Thanks for the laugh and encouragement this morning! And thanks for reassuring us that life with men is an adventure wherever you are!

  3. You are cracking me up! Here’s what you need to do about that half pound: eat cheesecake. Love, Celia the nurse 😀

  5. Grateful, you are walking on this ice, my friend.
    Susan, I am not sure how my half pound gain was encouraging to you, but glad I could help. 😉
    Celia, you are off my encourager list. LOL!

    Lisa~

  6. Dearest Lisa,

    That is simply not fair….that is the kind of thing that happens to me…

    Hang in there!

    Oh, and if you think it is crazy that your daughters’ friends are getting old enough to marry? I became a grandma this year! Yep that sweet darling girl is 5 months old! But really! Me? A Grandma?! Seems impossible…I am the mother….my youngest is 5….crazy!

  10. Oh Lisa this is so amusing to us because we can all relate to one part or another. Your #4 SO happens all the time in our vehicle and ALL my kids have noticed and comment to dear dad about it. Glad I am not alone – there is strength in numbers :).
    And about #5….maybe James was so glad to get out that everything seemed wonderful to him…don’t know him or if he gets out a lot but I know when I have been stuck inside, I seem to read everything on the bilboards as if it is all new to me.
    And about the weight…if you have been exercising, muscle weighs more than fat. Be encouraged friend, you look great!

  11. dear Weary of it all,

    I have come to realize that universally men are always so much ‘sicker’ than women are ever allowed to be. Period. End of story.
    As to the weight….sad that you had to suffer like that and then have the 1/2 lb gain anyway. But, look at the bright side, keep up what you are doing, and one of these days you will suddenly weigh 5 lbs less when you check it! The little ups are discouraging, but it seems to be part of the process. The plateaus are the ones that always get me, then i really get worried it just won’t budge any further no matter how i try.
    My oldest daughter has been married for 7 years {and 3 darling grandbabies}already, with the first one born when our youngest was just 3.

    love,
    Just trying to roll with it all {AND laugh at my husbands’ sometimes corny jokes}
    in
    NE

  12. You’ll make up for this teensy little situation next week. Don’t worry. Trust yourself to succeed and you will. She’s depending on you.

    Signed,
    Former Weight Watchers Leader

  13. Around these parts we call that a Man Cold, Lisa. Check this out to see why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ Try not to laugh too hard!

    So sorry to hear about that 1/2 a pound. How about you continue on your diet and resolve not to look at a scale for 2 weeks? Why get discouraged over the normal womanly body fluctuations that God designed for us? Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job at eating well! That’s really what it’s all about. 🙂 Good job!

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