A Little Panic Won’t Stop Me
Last week I was in Washington with my daughter and this week I’ll be in Idaho harvesting blue spruce trees. It’s hard to transition so quickly from one trip to another. I’ve been so confused that on Saturday I sat in my recliner staring at the walls and wishing for a Monk marathon to lose myself in. I needed a mental vacation.
While I was packing for Washington I went ahead and packed for Idaho at the same time. I knew I wouldn’t be able to think when I got home and this trip has required a lot of brain power.
In fact, this Idaho trip has been hard to plan on many levels. It’s very rustic there so I haven’t been sure what necessities I needed to take with me. It’s cold and rainy, so I was told I’d need snow type clothes, but my weather app predicts otherwise. I don’t own snow-type clothes so I wasn’t even 100% sure what that means. It got so frustrating on Saturday that I started telling James, “I am just not going….this is freaking me out.” I had a good cry, feeling like I wouldn’t be able to get comfortable or have any food that I liked or bathroom time. When I found out on Saturday morning that if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (which I WILL) it’s a 5 minute walk in the freezing outdoors, I kind of lost it. “Bring a flashlight” they said, “for the walk to the main lodge.” A flashlight?!? Are there any other options?! Even thinking about it now, the anxiety starts to creep in.
My 19 year old daughter heard me weeping on my husband’s shoulder. In an effort to help she excitedly said to me, “Hey! It’ll be an adventure!”
Is that supposed to cheer me up? I don’t like adventure! I like bathrooms that don’t require me to climb down from a bunk bed, put on 7 layers of clothing and risk being eaten by a bear in the middle of the night thankyouverymuch.
I like to have my little bubble of comfort. My fan. A pillow. Snacks. I don’t even know if I will have electricity where I am sleeping! If you like this kind of thing then you are a person I will never understand. We can be friends, but we can’t ever travel together or agree on anything.
I got so worked up that I finally put some oils in my diffuser and did some praying. With my eyes closed and the oils reaching my brain I started to relax. “I can do this,” I told myself, and I went back to packing. One step at a time.
Once I felt like I was sufficiently packed I spent some time getting the boys’ school checked from last week and going over their assignments for this week. My daughter will check their work and keep up with the lessons while I am gone. By Saturday night I felt better and decided to stop worrying about everything and just go to bed.
This seemed like a good plan until I was sitting in church Sunday morning listening to the sermon. I’d have a flash of panic every few minutes. Out of the blue something I was forgetting would pop in my head. As discreetly as possible I’d add it to my list in my phone. I didn’t want to distract anyone from the sermon, but my brain would not shut down.
Do you do this? Think of something out of the blue when it’s not even on your mind? It must be a woman thing because my husband never does this. If he is at church, that’s all he is thinking about is church. Must be nice. My brain runs on as many as 14 different tracks at once.
For this Idaho trip I had to find winter clothing. I needed “waterproof work boots.” These do not come cheap when you are foot challenged. I need extreme arch support or I will have heel spurs that keep me from being able to walk at all. So I can’t just hop over to Walmart and buy boots for $25. I had to go to a camping store and dump a barrel full of cash on the counter to pay for my new boots. Which would be fine if I ever thought I would wear them again for the rest of my life. But I won’t.
The coldest it gets here is around 35° and that is extremely rare. And even then it’s not wet and I’m not hiking or harvesting anything. Unless you count my weekly trek to Chickfila.
I never have cause to wear warm boots. I can barely wear my western boots in the winter without sweating. The whole preparation process for this trip was interesting since I don’t even know where to buy this kind of stuff. I was told to take layers. I asked for advice on Facebook and they said to get base layers and merino wool and waterproof everything and no cotton. I hope that’s right because that’s what I did. You’ll be able to peel me like an onion. A hot, sweaty onion.
Speaking of Facebook, if you’re wondering what happens during harvest time where I will be giving constant updates and info. It should be fascinating. Don’t miss it!
Have a great week!