Boys are from Mars

by Grace

Aliens.  Most of us girls, at some time or another, knew that boys were aliens.

I mean, they’re not like us.  They’re strange and unusual creatures who are more interested in knives and hunting and explosions and Star Wars than really interesting things like tea and shopping and Jane Austen movies.  They don’t cry very much.  Then, sometimes, when we grow older, we start to like them.  That’s a bit scary.

They’re obviously extra-terrestrial.  We’d better just avoid them altogether.

Because guy/girl relationships can be so tricky, I used to feel like running and hiding when any boy came within ten yards of me.  I didn’t like making eye contact.  I hesitated to call any boy a friend.  When dealing with a guy, I kept the conversation to really engaging topics like the weather and the time of day.

I was trying to be careful.  I wanted to protect my heart, and save every part of myself, including my emotions, for my future husband.  I wanted to do right.  But I was forgetting one little thing.

Boys are people too.

When I was about sixteen my mom shared this information with me.  Yes, we must be ever so careful to guard our hearts.  Yes, men are different from us, and created by God to fill an entirely different role.  But they’re people, like us, who God loves very much.

I’m all for safeguards and boundaries when it comes to dealing with young men.  Things like not spending one-on-one time with guys or not sharing my heart with them are boundaries that I hold to strictly.

But within those boundaries, we can be friends.  Co-laborers and brothers and sisters in Christ.  We can encourage each other in the faith and help each other.  Men aren’t as strange as we think.  They have feelings and hopes and dreams and their own relationships with God, just like we do.

I find that boundaries and personal rules for interaction actually make things more relaxed and easier.  I call guys “sir” and “Mr.” much of the time.  Rather than making things awkward or formal, it makes them simpler and more comfortable.  When I need to email a young man, I always forward all the emails to my dad.  That way I don’t have to worry about things getting inappropriate or foolish.

Some people think rules like these will hinder their relationships with guys.  I’ve found that it strengthens them.  Any true friendship has to be built on respect, and if a boy does not want to respect my boundaries, he’s not the kind of friend I want.

Everyone’s policies will be different, because every person is different and has different needs and tendencies.  But as children of the King of Kings, we need to remember that He has a plan and a work and great love and abounding grace for each and every one of us.

Even boys.