When they say, “Be yourself,” they don’t mean me.

Lisa's Blog
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Y’all know I am always in some kind of pickle.  Like the time my skirt fell off in the Bed Bath & Beyond parking lot.  It’s a God-given talent.  This time I was in Target.

You've got to read this....hilarious!

While I was in the city, I popped into Target to pick up some new rubber boots for Grace.  Her old ones are full of rips and holes, not the best for stomping out into the horse field every day.

I saw a really cute bright pink pair in the garden department.  Grace and I wear the same size shoe, so I found some size 9s, slipped the right one onto my foot to see if they fit.  They didn’t.  In fact, it was so tight that I couldn’t get it back off.  I tried and I tried, but it was stuck.  So there I was, in the garden section of Target in my maxi dress with a bright pink rubber boot stuck on my foot and the other boot tied to it with a piece of stretchy string.

I had 2 choices.  1) hobble around in Target dragging one rubber boot behind me looking for a chair.  2) sit right there on the floor like a 3 year old showing her panties and try to wedge this dumb boot off.

As I stood there weighing my options, a teenage boy that worked at Target had the misfortune of wandering into the aisle where I stood.  I am sure the look of desperation on my face took him by surprise.  Can you imagine, all he wants to do is re-shelf some garden spades but instead finds himself eye to eye with an old, overweight woman who’s about to cry, wearing a long black dress and one pink rubber boot.

I said to him, “Hi, I know this isn’t in your job description, but I can’t get this boot off (because I’m an idiot) and I need your help.”  The kid froze, stared at me for a second and muttered something like, “uhhhhhhhh…..”.  I held my foot out to him, the other boot dangling in the wind.

He slowly reached out and started to pull.  Believe it or not, he couldn’t get it OFF!  I plopped my foot back down and he shrugged and started looking for an escape route. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to buy these boots and wear one of them for the rest of the day.

But then an angel disguised as a pregnant woman rounded the corner, saw me and the boy standing there, quickly assessed the situation and walked over to me.  Without a word I held my foot out to her and she turned around, straddled my leg and with all of her might she pulled that rubber boot off.  She never spoke.  And then she was gone.

If she wasn’t a real angel then she was definitely sent by God to rescue me from this ridiculously awkward situation.

The teenage employee was gone too, no doubt to find the manager, quit his job and go back to playing computer games all day.

As for me, I pushed my cart straight to the shoe department, picked up a pair of regular old black rubber work boots and took them to the checkout counter and bought them….

…..without trying them on.

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43 Comments

  3. I am glad y’all get a good laugh out of it. Someone beside James should benefit from my bumbling-ness. When he read this post he said, “Did it even occur to you that you might not be able to get the boots back off?”

    Of course not….I just plow through and hope for the best. LOL! Lisa~

  4. Oh, Lisa! I laughed so hard, I cried!!
    Only a pregnant woman could relate to needing help getting shoes on and off.
    This is absolutely hilarious!

  6. You are so much fun! I can just see your little face as you looked around pitifully for someone to rescue you. I ONLY there had been a video! 🙂 You know these stories of yours just make all of us love you more–they are so endearing.

  7. This has to be the funniest thing I have heard since the IKEA story….gosh I love you!!!! Poor Grace now she may never know the joy of pink garden boots ROFLOL….I am crying over this one!!!!

  8. Oh Lisa, I don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard! I read the Bed, Bath & Beyond story first, then this one. I hope you don’t mind if I share. You really got my endorphins going today, girl. LOL! You are terrific! 😀

  10. I laughed so hard I spit on my iPad!! Ha! I love the picture of the pg lady straddling your foot and then quietly walking away. Yes, I think the boy probably quit his job, or at least had one heck of a story to tell his friends. Thanks for sharing your funny predicament and the smiles that went with it.

  11. Okay, good stuff Lisa! Just think, you gave the pg lady something to laugh about later when she was telling the story to her friends and maybe you spurred the teenage employee on to higher education when he realized he probably didn’t want to work at Target for the rest of his life. Not that there is anything wrong with working at Target-you get to see all the fun merchandise first, but I doubt the teenage boy is thinking in that direction.

  12. Okay, from now on I will have to go to the bathroom before reading your posts 🙂 you need to give us old gals some warning, like a rating for the movies. This post would get the “P” rating by the way!

  13. I am still laughing! Wow, you do have the uh, incidents, don’t you? Poor thing. Well, look at the bright side…you are helping us to learn to be sensitive to those with this, um…syndrome. hee hee

    Your a gem and I like you! 🙂

    Deanna

  14. I laughed out loud and beings I usually just chuckle or at the most chortle, that means it was pretty doggone funny. You’re a nut!

  15. You crack me up! I have had similar things happen to me. For example when I was in my early 20’s I worked in a salon and while I was cutting a man’s hair my slip fell to the floor. I stepped out of it and quickly put it in the drawer in my station. The man said “what was that?” I mumbled something and went back to cutting his hair. I’m sure my face was bright red…

  17. I almost cried twice: 1) the thought of you standing there not being able to get it off then 2) the angel. I pray I will be that angel to someone and not miss the opportunity.

  18. Dear Erma,
    For a skirt that stays up and boots that come off is my prayer for you. Next time you’re headed out, call ahead. The troops can send in reinforcements.
    Signed,
    Laughing

  19. Yes, I laughed!! Oh my word! Por Grace! I have never personnaly had pink boots but for some reason I’ve always wanted some. That sweet pregnant lady must have beeen strong. Maybe that boy had played to many video games and his arms were like jello, or maybe the whole sitiuation was a little too much. lol!

    Many Blessings,
    Kristiana

  20. That was so funny. Thanks for sharing. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who ever gets in crazy situations. You’re a hoot!!!

  22. OK….if you get tired of blogging I think you should contact Jay Leno and become a writer for him……you’re too funny…..I can just see you hanging around a garden center with a pink book shining from under your black dress…..what a fashion statement….hahaha

  24. You had me laughing so hard the women in the office next door must think I am Crazy! Thank you for the laugh.
    Rebecca

  25. Oh my goodness…I was laughing so hard:). I love that the pregnant lady never said a thing:). Thanks for the laugh!!

    ~Julia

  27. Oh my word, that was hilarious! You kn ow, I saw the whole scene in my mind. In *my* version, I came along, and fell into helpless giggles. I then tried, in between guffaws, to pull the pink boot off. More giggles. If you knew me, you’d know that when I get the giggles, I am totally done. No strength. No control. And no stopping the laughing. Until …plop…. off it came (in my head) and there I go…flying down the aisle flat on my face.

    Oh, I needed that laugh!!

  28. Um, just to let you know, I was thinking about this scene at work yesterday and cracked up in my office. Not reading your blog at the time, just envisioning how this all went down. I’m glad I’m not the only person who finds myself in situations like this!

  29. Haha! Love this! I can completely imagine the teen in the aisle. I hate putting people in awkward situations when I’m helpless like that!

  30. I so enjoy stopping by to see what shenanigans you are up to!!! You had me rolling with this one Lisa, don’t you ever change one bit!!

  31. Dear Booted,
    You tell a GREAT story….I can just picture it all!
    Reminded me of 27 years ago, when I was about 7 -1/2 mos. pg with my 1st baby. I had been visiting home in the mid-west, and had a long plane trip back to AK where we lived then. Sitting too long, Swelling ankles and feet, I had unbuckled my sandles for comfort. When it was time to get off the plane in Seattle for the layover, I could not reach….AND the buckles could no longer reach….So, I just left them…hoping no one would step on them, or that I would accidently lose one. A well-meaning older gentleman noticed they were loose and commented. I can still see his face when I told him ‘yes, I DID know they were, but that I couldn’t help it…. and would HE kindly like to hold up the line trying to buckle them for me?’ He looked back at the long line forming, then down at my chubby, sausage-like feet stuffed into my sandels, back at me apologetically and hurried away. …and thankfully, I managed to get off the plane without tripping.

    love,
    Life’s funny moments to remember
    in
    NE

  32. Isn’t it great to be able to laugh at our situations. Life is so exciting, never know what I’ll run into next. Your writing puts us all right there. Love you dear.

  33. Ok I knew you were nice but I never guessed you were this funny! OMG I am laughing so hard (and yes I read the one about losing your skirt too) that I almost wet my pants! I can totally relate to your stories because I my friend am a bonafide clutz! If I can trip, fall, or break something I will… so Lisa I feel your pain!
    xo Susan

  34. Stopped over from Perfectly Imperfect, and I have to tell you that I have never laughed so hard at the computer before. Life has been pretty stressful and I needed a good laugh. Thanks for sharing!

  38. Oh my, you must be kin to my Mom. She’s always finding herself in a pickle. In the summer of ’84 my family was vacationing in Hunt, Texas and we made a trip over to the James Avery store in Kerrville. Mom tried on a ring, but made the mistake of asking for the same size as her wedding ring. Well, 23 years of marriage had “padded” things a bit and the ring got stuck. The saleswoman was determined to get the ring off her finger. Mom endured the humiliation of standing in the lady’s room with her arm over her head while the saleswoman applied soap until the ring slipped off. Another time Mom went to Burger King wearing a fuzzy sweater. She wondered why people were looking at her strangely until she realized she had brushed up against her curlers in the bathroom at home and several were stuck to the back of her sweater!

  40. Thank you for that story! We are on a car trip back home and I was laughing so hard that I woke up the kids in the back seat! Oops!

  41. OK – I have read several of your stories that always leave me laughing…but after reading this one, I decided to make a file on my computer titled “Lisa Pennington’s funny predicaments”. I love sharing funny stories at the beginning of a ladies meeting – so I will keep you on my favorites list. 😉

  42. I was led here by a Pinterest pin. I am very glad I decided to follow the link – absolutely hilarious! Thank you so much for the laugh! I have a feeling I’ll be following your posts from now on…

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