The Dreaded Money Talk
I really hate to tell you what’s been going on here. It’s horrible, the worst, my least favorite part of life and marriage and being American.
We’ve been having (cue dreadful music) the money talk.
Once a year I sit in James’ office (this somehow makes it feel very official) listening to him tell me his plans for our finances.
I hate the money talk with every fiber of my being.
It makes me want to run away, eat lots of chocolate and buy expensive shoes.
I don’t know if it’s different being married to a CPA. It’s all I’ve ever known. My dad is also a CPA, so that makes 46 years of my life being run by accountants. One would think I would be an expert in debits and credits, but all it really did was teach me how to tune it out without wearing ear plugs.
As I sat opposite James at his desk, he spread a bunch of papers in front of me and began going through it. He starts to talk, “In the column titled ‘automotive’ you will see that we….” I search the page for the automotive column and don’t find it before we have moved on to “education” or “insurance” or “vacation.”
Vacation?! When did we take a vacation?! My head is spinning. I want candy.
I try to keep up, but after about an hour I am fighting back tears. We haven’t even gotten to how I am supposed to buy groceries and I haven’t understood a word he has said. This leads to both of us getting frustrated and me leaving the office upset and still not knowing where we stand on ANYTHING.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told you this ugliness in my life. Maybe you don’t want to know that I don’t really know the difference between a debit and credit. But here it is…..the sad truth. I really just want my little pittance of monthly “allowance” for groceries and the rest can be a happy mystery.
We didn’t finish yesterday, so there will be more money talk today. I will try to open my pea brain long enough to grasp the inner workings of our financial plan.
In the end I will still be wondering, can I afford some new shoes?
Oh I am so there with you! Don’t go over jot and tittle with me … just give me the bottom line. Am I going to get new underware this year year, and can I shop somewhere other than WalMart for it?
I end up feeling like I’ve been sent to the Principal’s Office. And, BTW, I can always remember the difference between principal and principle NOT because I understand loan terminology but because I spent as much time in the principal’s office as I did in the classroom. Believe me, he wasn’t my pal.
LOL! In Financial Peace University we learn how to have money talks. You are not alone. Most couples share this struggle.
I understand!! My sweet husband, also a CPA but not in public practice, makes these elaborate Xcel spread sheets with multiple pages and filled with formulas and numbers and I truly do NOT understand much of it at all. I’m with you. I just need to know what I can spend. I trust him with the rest. We finally, several years ago, went to the cash plan for the money I use each week: groceries, gas, misc. So I go to the bank every Friday and get out the money for that week. I can understand that. 🙂
Heather, we’ve done FPU twice! LOL! We still don’t communicate well. But one thing we know for sure…which of us is the free spirit and which is the dork. Can you guess?
Celia, Walmart underwear is scraping the bottom of the barrel. I don’t appreciate my undies moving around when I walk.
Antbed, YES! We use the cash method as well. This was the annual, “Let’s look over the budget and see where it needs to change” talk. UGH!
Thanks or all of your comments. It blesses me so! Lisa~
Oh you poor, poor dear! The only ‘up’ side is that I’m a poor, poor dear in financial terms cos I married a builder and not an accountant 🙂
Oh my! I really don’t know what to say. But I did have a laugh at your expense and I’m sorry. (sort of) I now feel the need to find an accountant and try to have a conversation with them and see how it goes. I feel I need to relate somehow. LOL!
Hang in there sister friend.
Croft, you confirmed for me that it is different if you’re not married to an accountant. Interesting.
Kim, if you live close you could come by and soak in the spreadsheets here. You definitely have to experience it to believe it. 🙂
Lisa~
So glad I’m not married to an accountant or I would be in the same position as you- way too much brain power needed to understand all that I am afraid!
Oh no – that doesn’t sound fun, although maybe all those numbers would be fun from an accountant’s perspective! My husband still does our budget the old-fashioned way, with pencil and paper on a printed form. If he ever dies, I’m going to take that folder of monthly budget sheets to an adviser to figure out!
Lisa,
I think it must be in the air! My husband shared his thoughts on our finances and the cost of gas around here. I hate looking at all the envelopes ( that are empty) and seeing how much needs to go into each and everyone and then decide where I, as a wife, can cut my expenses to help out. I don’t want to be the hole in the bucket that is always draining the bank!!
I think husbands all over hate to talk about finances just as much as we hate hearing about them. They want to provide for us and for the children but it seems so hard now days just to pay for the sustaining expenses.
I feel for you and will be praying.
Resting in Him,
Kim
Call in sick for the next meeting!!!!!
ChaCha
Deanne, maybe it would be different if my husband had a whole month off like yours does! 🙂
Mulberry, I can’t imagine that. James would not survive with pencil and paper only.
Kim, you may be right. But James is so giddy about it. He actually giggles when we’re talking about it. He just loves talking about finances….ours or his clients….doesn’t matter.
Cha Cha….great idea! I’ll do that next year. LOL!
Lisa~
Sooooo sorry, girls, but I love the money talk. I really do. But then I’m an emptynester, 50 year old wife of 30 years. I guess it helps me feel secure. er.
The “everything else can remain a happy mystery” just slayed me.
My husbands not a CPA but a preacher but he can still do him some spread sheets. Which he pontificates to me about (in his best well modulated preacher tones) until he realizes that my eyes have glazed over and drool is coming from the side of the mouth.
Then he sighs patiently and says, “Well, how do you feel about all that?” and I say, “Oh, I feel just perfectly fine. The lines and columns are all very neat and attractive, “and then I skedaddle out of there and go do something fun like write a blog post, or something.
Becky
Lisa, I can so sympathise! Steve has worked in finance his whole life and he is a whiz at the stock market. The only problem is he feels the need to explain to me EVERY detail of EVERY transaction! He actually expects me to understand or care about this stuff! I think James and Steve should get together and talk about spread sheets and you and I will hit the thrift stores!
Hugs,
Sherry
How sweet of you to humiliate yourself for our entertainment! I used to want to control the finances, until I started understanding what the Bible meant about submission. 😉 Now, I feel like you do. Just give me my cash and you figure out the rest! 😀
Unrelated: You recommend Runt the Brave. Would you consider that a boy book or would girls like it too?
Unrelated #2: I recently realized that the Mega Family Blogger website funds the LDS church. Just fyi.
Sherry, that sounds like the perfect day!
Ginger, all of my kids loved Runt, boys and girls. Thanks for the info on Mega Family Blogger. I’ll take care of that! I really appreciate it.
Lisa~
Oh my and I can see a shopping spree would sure make you feel better after a TALK like this!
I came over from my friend Laura’s!
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
Come and enter my very Fashionable Giveaway from the French Basketeer!
I believe my husband will be an accountant in his “next life” (or should have probably been one this go-around.)
I, too, dread the money talks. I don’t understand most of what he’s saying except for the part where “we don’t have any money”. It’s weird how we get by on nothing.
Send me a secret text next time and I’ll come running with emergency chocolate!
At least you only do this once a year – in this house it’s every month! This is because, for some reason that I still can’t figure out, I get to handle the finances. Which means I have to report at least every month, and get “the talk.”
Ah well, we all have our burdens to bear…
HEY I have a GREAT IDEA…we should let our husbands read all of these comments!!! HE will see that HIS WIFE is NOT THE ONLY ONE who HATES “the talk”. At least I won’t feel so alone next time I start crying during “the talk”. It makes Brandt feel bad too, so now he sends me these LONG LONG emails…the best part? the Delete button 🙂
Oh I need to go find some tums just reading this blog. Ugh.
I know I am late to this conversation, but hopefully this will help you for next time. Whenever my husband starts going on and on about something that interests me very little, I just start to imagine him naked. It at least puts a smile on my face and a pleasant thought for the future. If that doesn’t help, then wear some pretty (non-Walmart) underwear and make sure the door is locked.