A Letter to Sons

Lisa's Blog
11 Comments

Dear young man,

When you are spending the day with your father, do not call your mother to ask her if you have to obey him.  Your dad will tell you that you have to do jobs that your mother doesn’t make you do; embrace it.  He will be hard on you; appreciate it.  He will require different things from you; enjoy it.

If Dad tells you, “Son, I want you to do that school paper over again,” do not call your mother and ask if you really have to do it.  Dad is the head of the home.  He is the person that will guide you into manhood.  You should never, EVER, look to get out of the work he has given you.  It is an honor to follow in his footsteps and you will be a better man for doing so.

Someday you will want a job, a wife, a home of your own.  How will you get there if you spent your youth avoiding work, entertaining yourself and being selfish?  You will want to be trusted; become trustworthy.  You will want to get ahead in a company; be a hard worker.  You will want to have money; be responsible.  These are all things your father will teach you.  Do not try to get out of it.  Do not ask your mother if you can escape the harder work your father gives to you.

Sons, look to your father for guidance.  Do whatever he asks of you, no matter how hard or unjust it seems.  Even an unjust act can have a glorious outcome….if only to show your father that you honor and respect him no matter what.  Building that relationship will be one of the greatest things you ever do.  It begins with listening to him and following.

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A side note to mothers: Do not encourage your children to look to you to control their father.  You are the helpmeet, not the leader.  If you are concerned with your husband’s management of the children, talk with him about it in private.  Let him know how you feel, then support his decisions.  Allow him to be hard on the boys.  They need it.  They will be fine.  This was a difficult concept for me to accept, but I have seen it turn our oldest son into a fine young man.  Let your husband be the man in your children’s lives.

11 Comments

  2. Oh, this is sooooo true. And it is, by nature, hard for us mums to see our sons being dealt with in a way *we* think is hard. But….we’ve got to do just as you say here. This is spot on. We want our boys to become men, but with only us, they’d end up wimps. Praise God for Dads, who *make* them do what we’d let them off with. Praise God that He sees fit to give a Mum and a Dad… to make our boys into men, but not hard men; to make them tough, but kind too.

  3. We’re having to go back and re-do some of this work because my kid’s “real mom” (don’t tell everyone that’s really me…) hasn’t always been a godly example of submission. Because “she” had misgivings about her husband’s authority over her, their children would also try to undermine his authority and (sadly) at times she would let them. Set habits and patterns of behavior are difficult to change, but certainly not impossible.

    My words of wisdom to young (wives) mothers are simple – keep it biblical and you can’t go wrong. Even God in human flesh as the Son was in submission to His Father in Heaven. Start EARLY – The smaller the twig the easier it is to bend… And take heart – this whole “submission” thing isn’t anywhere near as bad as it sounds to our sinful, selfish ears.

  6. Wonderful advice ….. Mother and Daddy did exactly as you say to do and my three brothers turned out great….Mother and Daddy always supported each other….if one said no there was no point in asking the other parent for a different answer……..the answer was still no….My husband and I used the same rules that Mother and Daddy did and our girls turned out great..

    Thank you.

  7. I had to be Mom and Dad both to my son….it was hard, but so worth the outcome. I was lucky to have a brother who cared about his nephew, and a stepfather who also stepped in when needed. God will provide 🙂

  8. When I first started reading books eons ago about the proper roles in the marriage, it was not at all cool to submit, yet I was instantly at peace. I knew these roles were right and good because my spirit knew it long before I was the Berean and found the teachings in the Bible. Your letter to a young man brings back so many memories of my father and how hard he worked, how honest he was, and what a fine heroic model of a citizen he provided us kids. And what a comedian he was, too! Good blog in plenty of time for Father’s Day!

  10. Thanks for the reminder. I am so grateful for my husband’s strong (and supportive) hand in the life of our boys. He does things differently than I do, but I smile when I know that they will learn to be a man by watching him. There are so many influences on our young ones’ hearts, but a good father is such a mighty relationship for children to have.

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