Do Your Children Say Please and Thank You?
Politeness makes the home sweeter.
“Please pass the biscuits.” “Thank you for helping me.” “Excuse me.”
We teach our kids to say please and thank you from the very beginning…as soon as they learn to talk.
When they are just starting speech we simply say it for them. If they reach and grunt we say, “Please,” while we are handing them the object. That gets them used to the idea.
Once they are better at talking, we require them to say it. There’s usually a battle at first. I don’t know about your kids, but ours seem to have a stubborn streak. But we forge ahead. It is important to show gratitude and respect to others.
It is such a delight when I buy my kids a drink at Sonic and they say to me, “Thank you for getting me a drink Mommy!” Then the rest chime in, “Yes, thank you!” Besides being polite, it is a subtle reminder that I didn’t have to buy them a drink. Just because I am their mother doesn’t mean I owe them these special treats. Their gratitude lets me know that they understand that and are grateful.
If I’m standing in front of a kitchen drawer and they need something out of it they must say, “Excuse me please,” instead of just trying to open it anyway or saying, “Move, Mommy.” If they don’t ask nicely I will stay in their way until they figure it out. If they are not getting it I might say loudly, “I wonder what I would say if I needed someone to move out of my way.”
Another courtesy we practice is asking for food or drink. They are not allowed to say, “I’m thirsty!” They must say, “May I have a drink please?”
Simple signs of respect shows humility, which God, in His Word, tells us brings wisdom.
If you haven’t taught these things to your children, it is never too late. Let them know that you are going to start, tell them that it shows respect and love for others. Then be consistent about correcting them.
If they ask for a drink without saying please don’t just make them say “Please.” Have them repeat the whole thing, “Mommy, may I have a drink please?”
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13
Oh…and thank you for reading. 🙂
We do this, too. And since we’re in the South, we also throw in “m’am” and “sir”.
My children are far from perfect, but I do enjoy the fact that they are (usually) polite.
We also encourage our children to show appreciation for whoever cooked dinner that night.
We always make a point of thanking the cook, which used to mainly be me, but now that they take turns cooking it isn’t always. I think this is nice for the children who have cooked to have their efforts appreciated.
Bridget, YES! We also have the kids say ma’am and sir. When our northern friends come to visit they can’t believe it. It sounds so sweet and respectful. 🙂
Deanne, exactly! I should have said that in the post. We always thank the cook. In fact, we always have everyone wait to eat until the cook is seated and then say thank you before we start eating. Great point! Thanks for the reminder. Lisa~
We’re in Texas, too, so we have tried to encourage “Ma’am” and “Sir,” but I’m afraid it didn’t stick. We haven’t picked a fight over it, though, because truth be told, there are parts of the country where folks find it dreadful and offensive. Truly. Middle aged adults in some other places find it offensive either because it seems insincere to them, or it makes them feel too old (I see my high school friends from Arizona posting Facebook statuses about it occasionally), and people outside my Christian circles find it peculiar–and not in a good way.
Hi Grafted! Thanks for your comment. God says we will be a peculiar people, so that doesn’t bother me a bit. I don’t make my decisions based on what others think. It is what is in our hearts that matters. Our family is sweet and loving. Anyone within 10 feet of us can see that we are sincere and genuine. If we let fear of other people’s opinions affect our decisions about our families, we would be trapped in a life that wasn’t pleasing to God. Lisa~
dear Polite Penn Point,
I love this! Thanks for posting about manners at home. We too are a family of teaching them early about these things. It always feels good to hear them say “compliments to the chef” when it is just me or anyone who cooked at home, or when we are at someones house, or even at a resturant. (My husband actually started that one with our kiddos). I never get tired of hearing it. It sometimes surprises others, but is always appreciated.
Love,
The prompting begins at home, and never goes out of style
in
NE
there is not a sweeter sound than my 2 year old saying “tank ewe momo” or “cuse me”, but the sound that pleases me the most is my 9 yo sincerely looking at me and telling me “thanks for remembering I needed a new notebook” or whatnot. Numbers 2 and 4 need gentle reminders, but I so agree. Life is much more pleasant when we use manners not only for manners sake, but for Christ’s sake. We also use ma’am, sir, and never call adults by their first name. It would be Miss Lisa or Mrs. Pennington for you, etc. We are transplants to FL from Texas and adults will often say “oh, that isn’t necessary”, and I always say “in our family it is” and smile oh, so sweetly. Bless their hearts <3
Yes Green Gracie Home, we have a similar practice. Our children only call adults by their last name. I love your response….very good! Lisa~
You’re welcome. It’s my pleasure. *wink*
We teach baby sign to our adopted kids, starting the day we get them in China. It is easier than saying the words, and gives them the instant vocabulary needed for such things as “potty, hungry, more, drink….” and the signs for please and thank you are used from day 1 also!
We too, have taught our children to have good manners. We are not in the south, so it is usually not sir or m’am but it is Mr. and Mrs. Pennington, or Uncle Denny etc…never just the adults first name.
We all always express appreciation for the cook, for help, for thoughtfulness and say please, and excuse me etc….
I taught a manners class once that emphasized that having good manners is showing love for others. I liked that.
Thank you for a great subject to talk about, Mrs. Pennington!
Greetings~ Lisa,
What a sweet post! Thank you 🙂
Yes, my hubby is from the south & it was always Miss…Mam Etc…
I did finally ask to “please” “stop calling me Mam”? After we were visiting ‘more seriously’ (ahem) (I felt like…too old) ha 🙂
Anywho..yes, manners is a blessings & really not at all hard to teach!
He got a speeding ticket after coming north…and the police officer was going to just warn him , well he kept calling him “sir” he said well for being a smarty…it’ll be a ticket! When he replied “yes, sir” UG! 🙁 Imagine all that….(we now laugh) Poor guy, was not used to being spoke to with “manners”!
Thank you Miss Lisa for the reminders!
Glad to stop by once again…been busy beyond belief…
See you sooner & glad you are better. 🙂
Blessings~
~Lori
oh, yes, yes. We started with the twins right away, only it was in Spanish so they would squeak out “po’ faVO’!” with their baby Spanish accents. Wow, I miss those! 🙂
I love your posts on child rearing! It is so encouraging to read them and know that I am doing the right thing and the spiritual backup is fantastic!!
I have always answered the “I’m thirsty!” comment by saying – “Hi thirsty, I’m mama!” It stops them in their tracks and reminds them to ask again the right way! We all laugh sat that one now!
Thanks so much for being such a blessing!
Sheri O
We are a mannerly family as well. We teach our babies the signs for “please” and “thank you” just as soon as they start asking of things non-verbally. And when it is time to show obedience and respect, they learn to say “yes ma’am” or sir. In fact, I just posted a couple of weeks ago about my then “almost” two year old saying “yes ma’am” for the first time. So sweet!
I agree with you. We are supposed to be different. And ma’am and sir show respect. That is something seriously lacking in today’s world.
Thank you for your post!
We live near Dallas, TX and we all say “sir” and “ma’am”; I even say it to my hubby b/c I want my kids to see that I respect their daddy the same way I want them to. I’ve never had anyone say they didn’t appreciate it. The whole “I’m too old to be a sir” just doesn’t make sense! It’s a term of respect, not of age.
At our church, though, we are one of only a few whose kids refer to adults as Mr/Mrs Clark, instead of Mrs. Ginger. When I get off the phone w/ my best friend, Gretchen, and the kids ask who I was talking to, I always say: It was Mrs. Carroll. I want them to still think of her respectfully, even though she’s very close to us.
that should have said: The whole “I’m too young to be a sir” just doesn’t make sense! It’s a term of respect, not of age.
Duh!
Sheri, that is so funny! I do the same thing. I say, “Hi Thirsty, nice to meet you.” Great minds think alike.
Jamie, I’ve always thought the sign language idea is so sweet, but I never tried it. I love that first time hearing them say ma’am or sir. I’m off to check out your post about that.
Ginger, I say sir to my husband also (and I still say it to my parents). And yes, even my best friends would be Mrs. Clark instead Mrs. Ginger. Thanks for your thoughts. Really good. 🙂
It is so fun to read the thoughts that you all have about this. Lisa~
At least once everyday I have to remind Sweet Boy of his manners. I won’t stop until the day God calls me home. 🙂