Eating Out with Kids

I was sitting in a fast food restaurant recently when I saw a woman I knew come in the door with her five children.  She said to them, “Go get a table for us and I’ll order the food.”

The kids all went to a table and sat.  For about 10 seconds.  Then they started to lose control.  The oldest, 13 years old, wasn’t paying much attention and the others were soon running around the place, climbing over chairs, crawling under tables….it was chaos.

Now, I know this mom well enough to know that she would not allow this behavior.  But Mom was in line, the oldest wasn’t doing anything about it and the younger kids were taking full advantage.

This prompted me to share with you how I manage this type of situation with my children.  There will be times when your children need to sit somewhere without you and you need to be able to trust them to act the same way they would act if you were right there with them.

The first thing to do is practice at home.  Sit them around the table and tell them what you expect when they are out.  I would give them some examples, “What if you have to go to the bathroom?” “What would you do if your brother got up and he wasn’t supposed to?”  “What if you want to go talk to someone at another table?”, etc.

In all of these cases, I would teach them that they should wait at the table.  They can wait 5 minutes for the bathroom, they aren’t in charge of their brother, the friend at the other table should understand.

Then I might suggest some things they can do while they are waiting.  We’d come up with some silly talking games and some ways to sit still and challenges to see who can be the quietest….things like that.

Once we are in the restaurant I take them to the table myself.  I sit them down and tell them what I expect, “You sit right here and YOU sit over there.  Don’t get up for any reason.  Just talk quietly and don’t play with the salt.”

Now we know that they understand.  I turn to the oldest and say, “You are in charge of making sure they do just what I have told them.  Please watch everyone carefully for five minutes while I go get the food.”

They all know what I expect.  I didn’t just send them off with no instructions.  The oldest knows what to do.  If my oldest child can’t keep control for five minutes, then I wouldn’t give him the responsibility.  I wouldn’t send them to the table.  I would either keep them in line with me while I order or we would leave.

I have to remind myself daily, my job is to raise these kids to be godly, healthy adults.  If missing the occasional fast food meal or party or church service is necessary in order to do that….it’s OK.  The kids are what is important.  We can always eat lunch at home.

If you discipline for disobedience when you are at home, then make sure your children know what you expect when you are out, you (and the other patrons at the next table) will enjoy eating out….even if you have to leave your children at the table alone for a minute or two.

side note: Because I live in a small town I have been asked who the woman is that I saw in the restaurant.  Some are concerned that this mom would be embarrassed by being made an example of.  Let me say that it is not a local friend.  Also, when this happened this mother called me and we talked a long time about it.  She sought out my help with the problem and I did tell her that I would probably write about it on my blog.  She was glad that I would be sharing my tips for dining out and has since let me know that it has really helped her family.  They are now enjoying eating out and it is going very well.