What do you want to know?
As a mom of 9 kids, one question I get a lot is, “HOW do you do it?!”
It’s hard to answer. I know it seems crazy, but until I see a photo of my family, I don’t feel like it’s that much. Or sometimes I’ll see a picture of another large family and I’ll think, “Wow! That woman has a LOT of kids!” and I’ll count and there will be six kids in the picture….three less than I have!
But honestly, each of my children is so unique and special to me that it just seems normal. I feel about each of my children the way you do about each of yours (does that sentence make sense?).
I guess it’s harder to give them each individual time, but I don’t really know because all I know is my own life. I haven’t walked in your shoes, so I don’t know how hard that would be for someone else.
I do know that I don’t worry too much about individual time. One thing we have is a built in system of giving attention to each child. If Mom can’t do it, Grace can or one of the other siblings. No one is ever lonely.
My kids are so sweet to each other. That blesses me. We use a buddy system so that the younger four boys has an older sister as his helper.
Like when we travel, the older girls take it upon themselves to bring fun activities for the boys to do in the car. I never told them to do that. They just love doing sweet things for their little brothers.
And Jacob helps Grace all of the time with her projects, and vice versa. They really enjoy seeing each other succeed.
In fact, usually I am not needed! 🙂
Believe it or not, it’s very calm and quiet at my house. We definitely practice the “inside voice/outside voice” thing. I expect the kids to treat our home with respect, which they do joyfully. We have the rule that you don’t get out anything until you have first put away what you were using before that. So things stay pretty neat. Not perfect, but neat.
What is harder for us is eating out (which we rarely do), taking trips (again…rare) and buying shoes (which you all know is my nemesis).
It’s not hard to make big meals, you ease into it. We do make bigger messes, but we also have more helpers to clean up. There is a lot of laundry, but we stay on top of it and it’s never been a big deal to me.
If I had to choose, I’d probably say that keeping up with school is the hardest thing for me. Even though James and I believe that we don’t have to keep up with what the government says is necessary, I still have my own standards, which are probably too high. Right now (and for the past few years) I have 7 kids in school at the same time. That includes one that has learning challenges. It is hard to keep up. But even that, at the end of the day, doesn’t weigh that heavily on me. We’ll get it done.
So tell me friends, what is it that you want to know about having so many kids? Ask me anything.
The more kids I have, the more work there is naturally, but I don’t feel like we’re a big family either. I’m with you on the shoe shopping. (Worst day(s) of the year!! ☺) I (only) have five and feel a little guilty about how hard we push our older kids sometimes. Their childhood is a bit different from mine because they’re always at home with me and they have a LOT more chores than I ever did, such as caring for the animals…all 45 of them. (My Grace just coincedentally walked in the door and told me how many there are. Ha!) They also do some of the laundry, cooking and quite a bit of the cleaning and I still feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done that we need to be doing. I’m pretty laid back about a lot of things (which might actually be making more work for myself) but I don’t want the kids to look back and be bitter about the way we “work” them. They still have time to play everyday though. We’re raising them so differently from my generation as well as past generations that I just wonder what the outcome will be. I guess my question is, how do you find the balance between work and play for your kids. I have one son who’s 5 and four daughters 11, 8, 2 and 6 mos.
If this seems somewhat incoherent, it’s probably because I’m nursing the baby and dealing with the other two little jabber boxes while helping another with a reading assignment. I’m sure you’ve been there!
☺ Celeste
PS I got your email. Thanks for your prayers!!
.-= Celeste @ Cottage Dreamers´s last blog ..What’s up doc? =-.
Celeste, I know what you mean. But I also think we have to be careful not to be worried about giving our children work. Work is good for us. I think it’s really important to be sure each child knows how important they are to the family. Each child need to know they are vital to the success of everyone else. Work teaches them that.
As for play….I make sure that there is a time for that each day. For us it’s from 3:30 to around 5:00. At 5 we clean up and tend to the animals and the meal and get the house straight. Also, each younger child (12 & under) has a “play day” when they get to play pretty much whatever they want after lunch instead of work/school. Like, Adam has Wednesday. So every Wednesday from noon (after lunch) to 3:30 he gets to play Wii or a computer game or play with toys in his room. It’s only him….no one else. But it’s the only time all week he can do that stuff. Our after 3:30 play time is just toys, games, playing outside type of play. No electronics.
I don’t know if that is what you wanted to know. But it’s a start. 🙂 Lisa~
Lisa, you are an amzing and faithful woman…we are also considering homeschooling our little ones. What a blessing and calling! Sounds like you have relied on Him for your strength; I look forward to learning from you! -shaunna 🙂
My question would be–what if I am not able to have any more children and I would like more. I have thought about adoption but I am 43 years old and I don’t know if I may be too old. Would you have considered adoption if you had not been able to have but just a few?? By the way, I only have three children–two grown and a young teenager.
Beth, what an interesting question. First, you are NOT too old. 🙂 I’m 45 and I’d love it if the Lord gave me more children.
I would also say that any decision like this would have to have complete agreement between you and your husband.
But if you both think it’s something you would like to explore, I would say absolutely go for it! One thing I love about this amazing life we have is that it is rich with opportunities. I try to live my life to the fullest and not let age, money or fear hold me back. Children are a gift from God and what a blessing each one of them is.
James and I did adopt a baby in the years before Grace was born. I wrote about it on my blog a long time ago, but the sad part of the story is that when he was 2 we lost him (his birth parents sued us to get him back). I tell you this because I know without doubt that I would love any adopted child exactly the same as I love my natural born children. And they are just as precious, of course!
And what a blessing it would be for your older three children. We all need young children in our life. They keep us grounded. 🙂
I am so glad you wrote and asked. I am certainly not an expert and I don’t know your circumstance. But I hope and pray that you follow your dreams. Lisa~