14 Steps to a Great Adventure
If you want to have a big adventure, here’s what you do….
1. Put 8 women in your 15 passenger van and drive them to San Antonio to eat on the Riverwalk for one of their birthdays. (You can use your GPS to find your way).
2. Sit by the water and ask the mariachi band to play happy birthday for your friend, not knowing that they would charge you $8 for the 27 second performance.
3. Do something to keep the cigarette smoke at the next table from bothering you.
4. Order dessert. Don’t skip this step. You’re going to need the comfort later. Just trust me.
5. Take the riverboat tour, which costs considerably more than they advertise on their website.
6. Avoid hanging any limbs over the side of the boat. This is to keep from getting your arms broken by the next boat which is trying to pass you because your boat has stalled halfway through the tour.
7. Be careful not to fall in the river as you transfer to another boat.
8. Wander around San Antonio until you end up at the Alamo.
Could we have a moment of silence?
9. When you’re finished looking at the Alamo, visit some hotel lobbies. Try the elevators in all of them. Use all of their bathrooms. But whatever you do, don’t leave your camera with your friends while you go to use the bathroom.
I didn’t take this picture, but it looks like they are putting on some kind of a play.
10. Leave your friend with sore feet in one of the hotels while you and four others walk back to your van.
11. Be prepared to stay calm when you discover that your van has been broken into. The driver’s side window is smashed out (leaving the inside covered in shattered glass) and your GPS has been stolen. Resist the urge to slap your hysterical birthday friend. It may seem like it will help, but it probably won’t.
12. Try to stay out of the way while a policeman 10 feet away from you holds a man to the ground at gunpoint. (unfortunately, not the guy that robbed the van, it was just a drug dealer)
13. Find something to do with your hair so you can drive home without it whipping you in the face, since you have no window anymore. Don’t count on your GPS to help you out of the city….you don’t have a GPS anymore either.
14. Give up on the effort to keep your hair from blowing everywhere. Stop at Walmart at nearly midnight and buy what you need to cover the window with plastic.
That’s it! Follow this recipe to the letter and I guarantee you will have an adventure you won’t soon forget.
This will be reposted on my second blog.