The other night I was watching the new Duck Dynasty spinoff, “Jep & Jessa: Growing the Dynasty.” I thought they were adorable and obviously in love, but the way she treated him was a disappointment. Maybe it’s all for show, but I lost count of how many times she rolled her eyes when he said something and she constantly corrected him and treated him like an idiot.
I’ll admit, some of his notions were a bit….um…..exaggerated. I assume that’s for the cameras.
Maybe her eye rolling was also overdone for show, but she has the opportunity here to model what it looks like to respect a man even though he does crazy things sometimes. Now that would be something I would like to see…..a wife lifting up and respecting her husband.
I think that’s the thing I love most about Chip and Joanna Gaines from “Fixer Upper.” She laughs at his silliness, but she shows respect for him and even tells him how “manly” he is occasionally. That’s the book I want to take a page from, the one that makes my husband stronger.
Friends, I don’t mean to tear down the Robertsons. They’re still just figuring it out, like the rest of us. Let’s just remember, showing your husband respect is life-giving to him. I don’t think we realize the full power of our admiration. My guy eats it up like candy when I tell him how well he did on something or how much I admire his skills at anything, it doesn’t even have to be something big. I could literally compliment how he walked across the yard and he would puff up and strut like a peacock.
We think they should be confident because they are so good at what they do. My husband is beyond brilliant. He is the smartest man I have ever known. It surprises me sometimes when he seems insecure about anything. I consider it my job to make sure he knows that there is someone who thinks he is incredible. I don’t have to study psychology to know that my respect gives him super-strength.
That whole, “she does him good and not harm all the days of her life” thing. I want to do that!
Let’s work to build up our husbands and not think of their differences as crazy or their opinions as useless. OK, I may not be asking my hubs for decorating advice any time soon, but I could be better at listening to his ideas. He is the head of our home, the king of our castle. Let’s treat him as such by at least smiling when he talks and listening when he shares a thought. We don’t have to agree to be respectful. We can find something to admire, even if he suggests something like….oh….and this is just hypothetical….that we don’t need a new pair of shoes.
Every marriage has its challenges and every man makes mistakes. When I feel like criticizing my husband for a mistake in judgment it only takes me a second to remember a major mess up of mine from the recent past. I mess up our money, break things, forget stuff, lose important papers. It would hurt me if he didn’t forgive me or held it against me. So I don’t want to hurt him by holding his less-than-stellar ideas against him.
This is something I will probably always have to work on. I tend to be sarcastic and dry, which comes across as disrespectful sometimes. I am learning where to draw the line and when to back off.
So here’s a simple challenge:
- Find one new way each day to show your husband respect and admiration. Be genuine, not giving false compliments. I will bet you that the ripple effect of one new expression of admiration per day will change my and your marriage in giant ways.
- Pay attention to your responses when he says something you don’t agree with. Let’s treat him the way we want him to treat us when we say something he doesn’t agree with.
- Set aside our own needs. Wow, this one is hard for me. If I’m not really careful I will fall into the trap of thinking that it’s all about me. Let’s tell ourselves each morning when we wake up to be servants and not think we should be served all of the time.
- Remember what marriage is for….holiness, not happiness.
Will you join me in the challenge?!