I’m just gonna be real with y’all. Last week was rough.
There’s something that happens after ministering to others; I believe it’s a spiritual attack.
Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
I know this battle happens to many people….the enemy gets his nasty old foot in the door if we aren’t careful. I can’t imagine how hard it is for pastors and missionaries who do this daily. I need to pray for them more!
The Summit is such a time of ministering to women who are tired, broken and hurting. I prayed with at least 20 women in Oklahoma, every one more desperate for God’s answers than the one before. My heart broke for each of them as we asked God for a miracle in their lives.
It is an honor to talk with these beautiful souls and that God would allow me to pray for them is nothing less than humbling. I plan do it again this weekend with excitement and love. The Summit is such a time of healing and encouragement. I was talking with one woman on Sunday morning after it was over and she told me that this had been her first time to go. She said, “I have thought about it for a few years but just never did it. I never knew….I never knew what it was like….that I would experience such a breakthrough with God from being here. I will never miss another Summit if I can help it.”
I can’t wait to be there this weekend with my Texas people and do some serious praying, learning and LAUGHING! Last weekend I laughed so hard I almost blew tea out my nose.
But afterward, I pay for it. I am drained and wiped out from the spiritual battles and outpouring of the Holy Spirit. I got home late Sunday night and went to bed…..for 2 days. I felt dragged down and depleted. And yes, I let my armor slip. Why do we do that? My husband James says I let myself get too tired which contributes to me getting down. I’m sure he’s right. After nearly 30 years of marriage he does know me pretty well. He’s seen the good, the bad and the very ugly.
Sometimes I don’t share this stuff on the blog because, while I want to be transparent, I also know that there are people out there who take what I say and twist it into their own ideas of me and post it on their sites saying things like, “Look! Now she is having a hard time. Ha! Ha! She deserves it because she is so ______” (fill in the blank). It’s sad really, that anyone would spend time taking apart someone’s words instead of adding grace and love to the world around them through their own gifts. I really do think of it as their problem, not mine. But some days I am just not. in. the. mood.
So, why am I even telling you all of this? For three reasons.
- I want you to know that you’re not the only person who has hard days. I have hard days sometimes and that’s OK. You can lay low for a few days then get back up. Give yourself a break when you’re having a rough time. Everyone does that occasionally.
- I want to be honest. I hate it when people only show the perfect side of life on their social media or blogs. We all know that no one is perfect, but it can be comforting for someone else to say it.
- Because no matter how I feel, it doesn’t change who God is or His character. I may be blue, but He is always full of joy and ready to give that to me at my first request. When I was ready last week, I went outside and listened to some praise music. I asked Him for joy and He gave it to me. Like Glenda the Good Witch said, “You’ve always had the power my dear.” Of course, it’s not really MY power but the power of the Holy Spirit. It is always there for us! There is always, always something to be joyful about.
I hope I haven’t been a drag here. My joy is in the Lord and even though some days I get down or depressed, I always know that there is a way out. Although, I am sometimes a little slow about it. Of course, I used my oils too….they are so uplifting and when I remember, “Hey! I should diffuse something to help me!” it brightens my mood. (today I am diffusing lavender and geranium together and it smells lovely!).
I am doing better now and actually, even though it wasn’t the way I would have wanted, I got a lot of much needed rest. Because I didn’t feel like going out, I was just home with my kids and we had a nice time together. Because I spent a lot of time in my bedroom I got it really cleaned up. I got caught up on the boys’ schoolwork and some closet organizing done. There’s always something good that comes from even an unpleasant situation.
Lastly, I hope you will pray for me and all of the Summit team this coming weekend. I am not the only one who comes under attack after loving on these beautiful women. We all struggle to find our footing after such an intense time of prayer and support. I really, really appreciate your prayers.
And if you’re still thinking of coming I hope you will! Pray about it and ask God if you are supposed to be there. It’s not too late to register. Have I made it sound appealing? LOL! Don’t let my honesty about the struggle keep you away. The event is a blessing and I only get down because of how much we love the women there and the power of the Holy Spirit! It is a GOOD thing!
Thanks for “listening”. Have a great week, my friends. I plan to.
Come on over to Facebook for more conversation!