I’m beginning to wonder if there is a sign on my back that says, “I’m a magnet for embarrassing things.” If not, then God is just getting some fun out of watching me squirm.
It happened on Saturday morning. I attended a sweet ladies’ fellowship and prayer meeting at church. We were divided into small groups of women sitting at round tables and were given instructions by our table leaders. Each leader would read some things about prayer then we would all pray together, then she would read a little more and we would pray more and so on.
I was sitting in a spot at the table where there was a table leg right in front of me, which caused to me awkwardly straddle my legs around it. It was uncomfortable since my legs were forced into an odd position. So during one of the prayer times I decided to adjust a little. My chair was turned where I couldn’t move my legs enough to relieve the numbing that was starting at my hips and working its way down, so I lifted my buttocks a little bit and scooted the chair to the left. Seemed innocent enough, right? Well not in my world.
As soon as we stopped that short prayer time some of the ladies at our table took a little break to go use the restroom. Then one of them leaned over to me and whispered, “Honey, are you having some discomfort?” Thinking she must mean me wiggling around because of the table leg in my way I said, “A little, but I am OK.” She asked if she could pray for me, which I thought was kind of odd, but OK. She prayed, the ladies returned from the restroom and we went on with our table time.
As our time of praying went on I shifted again to keep my legs and lower back from going into spasm.
After the whole event was over and people were milling around, another lady quietly asked me if I was feeling OK. The way she asked gave the impressions she was deeply concerned for me, so I asked her, “Why are you asking me that? Do I not seem OK?” She gave me her best poor-darlin look then she told me, “Well you seemed to be having a little gas during the prayer time.”
Her care for me was so sweet I didn’t have the heart to start laughing right then. I just told her I was fine and thanked her for her concern. Then I went to ask the first lady if when she asked me about discomfort she meant she thought I was having gas and she said, “Yes, I was very concerned for you.”
OH. MY. WORD.
These ladies thought the sound of my chair moving across the floor was me letting out a big one during prayer!
I could die.
Can you imagine the reputation I have now built for myself there?! I barely know most of these ladies and now they all think I have digestive issues. And it’s not like I can go around to each person and say, “Hey, in case you thought I was tooting last week, I want to let you know it was just the sound of my chair scooting on the floor.” Nope, I am simply left with this giant hole in my dignity.
I don’t know if I will ever go back to another prayer meeting, but if I do I will be sure to sit still no matter how badly my legs ache and never.move.a.muscle. Either that, or just wear a t-shirt that says, “Yep, I’m the one.”
Have a great week!