Let Me ‘Splain.  No, There is too Much.  Let Me Sum Up.

Let Me ‘Splain. No, There is too Much. Let Me Sum Up.

I am not going to make any attempt to tell you all about the past week of my life.  It’s frankly too much activity for one person and I am now considering applying to be on The Amazing Race, having proved to myself that I can get lost in several cities and survive.

In San Francisco last weekend I had the taxi driver from ‘H-E-double-hockey-sticks’, weaving in and out of oncoming traffic as I cried out in terror, and I lived to tell about it.  Having looked into the face of death and won, I am feeling much less intimidated by the 9 children and 450 emails that await my attention this morning.

Not to mention last Sunday being followed around Seattle at 5:30AM by a homeless man who decided I needed to hear all about how much he hates it when people stare at him.  That, for this country girl, was a bit too much.  I did think he was generally harmless, but it unnerved me enough that I got turned around and couldn’t find my way back to my hotel.  I had to kind of just keep jogging instead of trying to stop and figure it out.  Nothing says “come attack me” like standing alone in a deserted downtown staring at a tourist map.  I did eventually find it, thankfully!

Yesterday on a drive home from Houston I started feeling my body settle into travel weariness and I had to munch on Sonic ice to keep from falling asleep.  When we pulled into the driveway I asked my daughter who was with me if she minded propping me on her back and dragging me into the house.  I wasn’t sure if I could make the last 100 ft.

I am glad to report I have a couple of weeks off from traveling and plan to spend every second with my kids that didn’t get to go with me and just stare at them.  This morning I sat at the table to talk with my boys and I told Elijah, “Bring your chair over here and sit right next to me.”  He did and I kept patting his back and rubbing his shoulder when finally I just proclaimed that even though he is 11 years old, I would need him to sit in my lap for a few minutes because I missed him too much to be satisfied with just being next to him.  He begrudgingly did it.  I hugged it out then released him to go be his own person who will undoubtedly need therapy someday.

Speaking of needing therapy, my daughter Hope will likely have a lot to say to her future counselor after having seen me in my underwear yesterday.  In the middle of the mall.  We were shopping and as I reached toward a rack of clothes it happened….my skirt fell right to the floor.  It was all so quick!  I heard her gasp, felt a chill on my backside and something plopped at my feet all in the same second.  I looked down and tried to process what the gray pile of fabric was around my ankles.  Could that be my skirt?!  Yep.  I scooped it up as fast as I could then turned to my daughter to see her laughing so hard she had to walk away.  I tried to just nonchalantly move onward through the mall like nothing happened, but it kept flashing through our minds and we’d start to giggle uncontrollably.  Nothing like a little mother-daughter bonding to end the weekend.

Have a good one!


  1. Can’t. Stop. Laughing. That is too funny and one slightly embarrassing part of weight loss, huh? But, life goes on…skirt around the ankles and all. Glad you have a few weeks to unwind! Thanks for the giggle…I needed it today!

  2. I laughed so hard reading about your mall experience! I could barely read through the tears and the laughter. You are just so amazing!

  3. Oh my! You seem to have a problem with exposing yourself, eh? Haha!
    I am glad you are getting some time at home now! Enjoy those kiddos!

  4. kristine barr :

    Too funny! Hope you bought a new grey skirt to remind you of your amazing weight loss.

  5. I needed that laugh…ty for sharing

  6. Oh Lisa honey, I am sorry but I did get a bit of chuckle when I heard about your skirt incident. Did you treat yourself to a new skirt?

  7. oh my – perfect bonding session indeed. But I’m wondering – just how exactly does one lose their skirt? Does this speak of more weight loss perhaps? 🙂

  8. Lisa, I love popping over to your blog and reading your updates. You crack me up! I am so glad you made it back home in one piece. 🙂

  9. I’m so glad I read this today. 🙂 and I’m glad you are home, safe and sound.

  10. Dear Erma,

    Not again?


  11. Man, for a modest lady, you are really good at losing your skirts! 🙂