Thanks a million to all of you that have responded to our modesty series! The girls and I have been blown away by the response.
I have gotten many emails with questions from moms of teens that are struggling with dressing modestly. Teens wants to dress like their friends or what’s in style for their age. It sure can be hard, we know! So I thought I’d ask my 4 girls some questions and share their answers with you.
Grace (23), Hope (19), Faith (17) and Patience (16) are sharing some of their thoughts for you today. (I promise this is exactly what they said with no input from me!)
1. Have you ever really wanted to wear anything that your parents said you couldn’t?
Grace: Certainly! Especially when I was in my teens.
Hope: Oh yes. I will sometimes see things or even try them on but I’d know I wouldn’t be allowed to wear them. Knowing the reasons my parents have for making that choice has always helped me decide to not want to wear those things.
Faith: Definitely yes. If I put an outfit together and my parents tell me it’s immodest, I will ask what it is about the outfit that they think is immodest instead of just reluctantly going to change my clothes. If I can understand their reasons it helps me not want to wear that because I don’t want to sacrifice modesty to look cute.
2. What do you do when your parents tell you something is immodest but you don’t agree?
Grace: Well, we already know the boundaries so I am never really surprised when they tell me something I am wearing is immodest. I don’t usually disagree, but sometimes I don’t realize something is tight or immodest until they point it out. I’m always glad to know. I especially like it when my dad or brothers tell me because I know they see things in a different way and I don’t want to wear anything that wouldn’t honor the men around me.
Hope: If my parents tell me that something is immodest but I think it’s fine it helps to remember the verses in Scripture that say to honor your parents. While I’m in their home I need to respect their principles and ideals because they are the parents God gave me and He knows who I am going to be and what I need.
Faith: When that happens but I still think it’s fine I need to accept that I have a lot to learn in that area and they know more about it than I do. I put my whole heart into trying to understand it and if I still can’t then I accept that I may not understand right now but be willing to do it anyway.
Patience: I am learning that it is far more important to obey your parents than to wear a top that you like.
3. What are some of your tips for making something immodest become modest?
Grace: I always have tank tops and leggings in different colors in my drawer. Sometimes I’ll try something on in the dressing room and not realize that the front gaps when I bend or the skirt blows up in the wind. I can always put a tank and leggings under it to fix that problem.
Hope: I love a shrug over tank tops. Also, I will pin tanks at the shoulder seam so they aren’t as low.
Faith: I love to wear a shirt with a really cute sleeve under a strapless dress. It actually enhances the outfit because it makes it completely unique to you!
Patience: I like the really short dresses that are in style right now, so I wear them over a skirt. Also, I love tanks so I will put another shirt under them.
I hope this helps a little. Being a mom of a teen girl these days is surely a challenge! They are being pulled by the world to dress immodestly and look like everyone else. I want to encourage you moms that if your daughter is wearing something that you think is immodest, don’t react immediately. Find something nice about the outfit and compliment it. Then make a suggestion for making it more modest. Ask her why she likes it and try to help her find alternatives that make her feel good about how she looks.
Thanks for following us through this series and feel free to keep asking questions and sharing your thoughts with us!
Check out the rest of this series in our Embracing Modesty Gallery!