Embracing Modesty, No. 6
All four of my girls have their own style. They go through phases and interests and their clothes reflect that. We have always encouraged them to express themselves through their clothing, as long as they stayed within the boundaries that we believe are the standards of modesty that our family has set.
You can read my 7 Steps to Dressing Modestly post to learn more about our standards of modesty, but today I just want to encourage you to set clear boundaries for your girls. James and I discuss it and come to an agreement and occasionally revisit it to be sure we are still agreed. We tell the girls that as long as they are in the boundaries, they can wear whatever they want.
You’ve seen a lot of my daughter Faith already, so I’ll show you the other 3 girls and some of their recent looks.
Patience
She’s 15 and the youngest girl. She likes a simple outfit, more sporty. She loves a hoodie and wears a lot of headbands….so cute!
This outfit is classic Patience. Long denim skirt, simple sandals, extra long sleeves and a headband that adds a pop of color.
Hope
At 19, Hope has built her style around her love of the ocean. Beaches and palm trees, relaxed style and cool colors describe her.
Her favorite accent color is the color of the sunset….coraly/peachy/orangish. Got that?
It is a blessing to me every day to see my girls looking so modest yet expressing their individuality.
Grace
She’s the oldest and has been through the most phases of styles. From western to Victorian, Grace has explored. It’s been fun to watch. For the past few years she’s found her perfect look and it’s very graceful and elegant. It fits her personality.
Unlike the rest of us girls, Grace likes her clothes to match perfectly. It’s so lovely and refined.
That same top and jacket with a different skirt and shoes has a whole different feel.
This skirt is all of our favorite. It’s a rich peasant skirt (Is that right? Two opposites?) that she made a head scarf to match. So clever, the skirt was too big so she removed a panel and used the leftover fabric to make accessories. The boots and necklace finish it off so beautifully.
Many of you have written to me that your daughters have been encouraged through this series. I hope this helps them see that they can have their own style and still honor their parents. You can work together and please everyone. Daughters need to respect the boundaries and Mom, you need to let her have some room within the boundaries to be herself. No one feels comfortable in clothes they don’t like!
I want to tell you moms, my girls didn’t always look this well put together. We had times of messiness, nothing matched, styles didn’t mix well. As long as it wasn’t horrible I let them wear it and found something to compliment.
Enjoy the boundaries!
Check out the rest of this series in our Embracing Modesty Gallery!
I so agree with you Lisa!
My four daughters are each unique in what they like, but each one looks great.
Again, I appreciate your heart for modesty not a ‘uniform’ of what is acceptable!
Deanna, Thanks so much! I haven’t thought of it as a uniform before, but now that you say it, I see what you mean. I’ve always loved expressing myself through my clothing and am glad we’ve been free to do that. Love ya! Lisa~
I LOVE your attitude about how your girls dress. Especially that last sentence. I think you’ve found the balance that so many parents struggle with. Many either teach (or sometimes just enforce) modesty and get a little controlling about taste and style while they’re at it, and others want to let their kids express themselves and reluctantly let them wear immodest clothing because “that’s the style.”
Yes, I said kids and not girls, since there’s immodest guy clothing too. But I guess that’s easy enough to counteract, so there really wouldn’t be any use in dedicating a series to that too.
Jacqueline, I agree completely! And it doesn’t just say modesty for women….it just says be modest! I work on it with my boys too, but you’re right. Not enough for a whole series. LOL! Thanks for bringing that up! Lisa~
Seeing this series has been such an encouragement, blessing, and learning thing for me. You “olders” teaching the “youngers” and all.=) Thanks for being vulnerable-becaue when ever you address modesty and dress, you are opening yourself up to attack.
Oooh, I like that peasant skirt too! I’ve bought big linen dresses at thrift stores, then cut them and made skirts. I made little girls A-line jumpers from a pair of women’s capri’s that was a cute print that caught my eye. I’ve also made parts of a-line jumpers from thrift store baby crib bumper pads that was a precious toile print. I look for cute fabrics, then figure out what to do with it=)
I am so glad I ‘stumbled’ onto your blogs. I have enjoyed reading them immensely !My husband and I are fairly new Christians and we are just starting to adapt a modest lifestyle. One of our daughters is really struggling with it. She is 12 and most of her classmates dress ,in my opinion, extremely inappropriate. So of course when I ask her to add a shirt or wear a different one she looks at me like I have the plague :/ Do you have any tips to help make this transition go a little more smoothly??
HI, I’m new to reading your blog, I am curious, your girls do not wear pants, do you find that is constrictive to them playing sports? In australia (where I am from) at school, girls uniform would either be an above knee skirt or shorts for sport…. and do you find that finding appropriate swim wear is difficult? Have you had to set limits on clothing for your son?