My Brain Works in Mysterious Ways (at Least to My Husband)

My Brain Works in Mysterious Ways (at Least to My Husband)

There’s been so much coming and going lately that I haven’t been as good as I should about keeping up with the money.

I collect and spend and pile the receipts on the table next to my recliner.  I don’t do anything else with them.  Those pesky receipts just sit there until James starts asking me about the money.  Apparently he got in the mood last Sunday to get it all cleared up.

He knows if he comes to me with a long list of questions it will freeze my memory and cause me to be unable to answer anything.  So he sends me questions by email one at a time, “On the 19th, what was $14 at JoAnn’s for?”

That’s the whole email.  No hello.  No, “Hi my beautiful wife and precious helpmeet.  How are you today?  I love you and care about you.  Oh, and just wondering…..when you went to JoAnn’s the Monday before Thanksgiving, what was that $14 for?  I’m sure it was something important.  Love, your adoring husband.”

He shoots straight to the point.  But I am a complicated woman.  Nothing is straight.

Last night he sent me an email that said, “What is the $27 from Target for?”

I am sure he wishes I would say something like, “Target.  $27.  Clothing.  Over.”

Instead he gets this, “Oh that.  Yes, I picked up a scarf for Sara that looked just like one she liked at another store but they didn’t have black.  So I got her the black one at Target for $27.  But since I owe her $52 for that case of lotion, toothpaste, etc. I’m just taking the $27 out of what I owe her.  Oh!  And I also owe her $13 for eggs, so I’m going to Paypal her $38.”

I imagine smoke coming out of his ears like in the old cartoons.

His office is about 40′ behind our house and occasionally I think I can hear moaning noises coming from back there.  I don’t ask.  I just sit happily in my recliner thinking I am doing my wifely duty by digging through the receipts over and over to answer his questions.  I’m so proud of myself for actually knowing the answer.  I deserve a crown.

Our Christmas decorations are about halfway up.  We decorated the tree as a family, but the next day we realized that we had put the top half of one tree onto the bottom half of another.  After a very complicated search, we finally figured out why the halfs of the tree looks slightly off color from each other and kind of leaned.

So now we have one tree that’s only decorated on the bottom and another only on the top.

But it’ll get fixed and looking lovely by the weekend.  I just have to take a few naps first to get my energy up.  Speaking of decorating, I’ve got a post over on Life Your Way sharing ideas for seasonal decorating.  There’s nothing in the post about mixed up Christmas tree halfs and if you go read it I only ask that you not share that in the comments.  I’ve got a rep to protect.

Today I’m heading to the city.  I get to go all by myself.  It’s the first time I’ve been alone in a couple of weeks and I’m looking forward to the dead silence.  I just drive.  I have my own thoughts.  I pray then my thoughts wander to my to-do list and Christmas shopping.

Not receipts.  When I’m alone I never even think about receipts.

This will come as no surprise to James.

Have a great day!

 

Comments

  1. You’re the best! You always make me laugh!!!!

  2. I can relate to so much of this post, but not the mixed up tops and bottoms of the trees…poor trees….

    Can’t wait to see them in all their finished Glory!

    Deanna
    Deanna´s last blog post ..Don’t Miss The Giveaway!

  3. My husband thinks about receipts too. All. the. time. He sends me texts about mine. :)

    • Christy, I’m “supposed” to text my husband when I spend money so he doesn’t have to ask. {sigh} I wish I could ever remember to do it. Lisa~

  4. Too funny! My husband says I am so hard to follow in a conversation due to I am all over the page in thoughts. You crack me up! Hugs, Bobbi Jo
    Bobbi Jo Nichols´s last blog post ..Thankful Day # 27

    • Bobbi Jo, James gets this look in his eyes and I realize I’ve gone off topic. I reel it back in and try to just give him the facts. LOL! Lisa~

  5. I do our books, so I don’t have to answer for the receipts.=) Whew!=)
    Hilarious about the tree. At least you figured it out.=)
    Barefoot Hippie Girl´s last blog post ..High on My List(s)

    • Barefoot, I’d rather report on my receipts than do the books. That would be a DISASTER! I’ll bet you’re good at it. :)

      Truth be told, I didn’t figure out the tree problem. One of my kids did. Lisa~

  6. We actually did something with our receipts this morning. I never paid any attention to the fact that my HEB receipts have a code on them. If you go to the website, enter your code, and do the survey you get 10 entries (per survey, I believe) into a monthly drawing for a $500 gift card and a quarterly $1000! How did I miss that for so long. I go to the store once a week. I could have had my groceries paid for easy with one of those cards! So this morning…we did something with our receipts:) We sat and did surveys. And hopefully we will win!
    Candace Hendrick´s last blog post ..Green Smoothie

    • Candace, wow! I wonder what I’m missing by not going through my receipts. Now I’m going to have to go back through and see if there’s hidden prizes. LOL! Lisa~

  7. I think you’re precious. For real. ;)

  8. Well at least he knows where the money goes mine is hopeless with money it burns a hole in his pocket we always pooled our wages and had allowances, I paid all household expenses and he never cared what I spent money on he always run out of money before payday.
    Merle……

    • Merle, that’s rough. I am very grateful that James takes such good care of our finances. Thanks for the reminder! Lisa~

  9. I don’t think you’re all that unique – the receipts thing makes absolute sense to me. And even though my hubby isn’t an accountant you know he’s about as weird as one. I’m supposed to text him every time I spend his (our) money. I rarely remember. In fact, typing this I remember that I forgot to do that today…

    He’s home now and I need to go tell him about the half cord of wood I bought today – and explain why I needed another scarf… Thanks to him reading your blog post in e-mail I have to address that one right away!
    Sara K´s last blog post ..Pump Up the Pumpkin

    • Sara, maybe I was talking about another Sara that brought me eggs and lotion that has a new black scarf. It’s not all about you. ;) Lisa~

  10. hahaha! I love this post! My husband gave up with the receipts long ago. Let me know if you need pointers on how to accomplish that in your home, too. :)
    Debbie´s last blog post ..Photo Fall-Back

  11. i just love you. and your brain. that is all.
    lisa @StudioJewel´s last blog post ..Ask Lisa – how are you REALLY doing? An honest answer.

  12. I can’t wait to see your decorations! We put our’s up over the weekend and daddy and the boys did a wonderful job with the lights outside. I tried to post a pic on fb but it wouldn’t let me…. I’ll have to try again :)
    Kristiana´s last blog post ..I give Thanks…

  13. LOVE this. I think Jack and James would get along quite well, as would you and I! :)

    That pic of you in the crown? Priceless. Put that in the pile of receipts!
    Richella at Imparting Grace´s last blog post ..Christmas decorating in real life

  14. That’s the kind of accounting that my mom, sister, and I do. Works for us…drives my bro-in-law crazy. And, you look beautiful in a tiara!

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