Sometimes we can forget that our kids are whole people…with deep needs and dreams and plans for their future that all have nothing to do with us. They can feel a disconnect when we ignore their personal moments or disrespect their uniqueness. To make that human to human connection, you can ask them questions.
Ask about their day, their dreams, their ideas.
In the mornings I like to ask my kids, “Did you have any dreams last night?” Dreams are so personal and no one else is directly involved. If I want to know your dreams then I want to know YOU. Most days they don’t remember their dreams, sometimes the dreams are long and weird. But always I want to know if there’s anything going on in their life that might be appearing in their dreams.
When we’re alone together or driving in the car I will ask things like, “What did you do today that you really liked?” or, “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Questions like this will spark conversation about the things they like to talk about and show them you are interested in listening and not just talking. Here are a few other questions to get you started:
*What famous person would you like to meet?/What would you tell them?
*If you met a child your own age that was really poor and had nothing, what’s something of your yours would want to give them?
*Which of your past relatives would you like to have met?
*Who is someone that you have never met but really admire?
*What do you like to think about when you are alone?
*What do you wish people knew about you?
*When you feel really sad or upset, what are 3 things that help you get over it?
*When looking for a new book to read, how do you choose?
*What are 3 things you would ask God if He were standing right here?
*What is your favorite season?/Why?
*Is there anything about your bedroom that you would like to change?
Ask one or two of these questions to your kids, then just listen. Ask more questions to keep the conversation going. It’s just about them. No wrong answers, no lectures, just getting to know them way deep on the inside.
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