We’ve been getting the house cleaned up and ready for the Christmas party here this weekend. I gave Noah the job of trying to fix the lights on the Christmas tree that we have on the front porch. Half of the lights are out and I thought it would be a good job for him. I bought him a pack of replacement bulbs and showed him what to do. The poor guy went through every bulb on that tree. A couple of hours later he came to me, “Mom, didn’t you pay like $2 for the lights you bought for the mantle? Can’t we just buy a couple of new strings of lights and forget these?”
What?! And waste TWO DOLLARS when he could spend the next 4 hours trying to fix the ones we have?!
What is wrong with kids these days?
When I was a kid it was pretty easy to fix the tree lights because the bulbs were just small lightbulbs and they screwed into the string like normal lights. One would go out and you’d just have to unscrew it and pop another one in. I love to tell my kids about my childhood, “You know, when I was a little girl the bulbs were this big,” demonstrating the enormous size of vintage bulbs. The kids oooh and ahhh and pretend to be interested.
“And my grandparents didn’t even have lights on their tree. There was a revolving light that sat on the floor next to the tree. It changed from green to red to blue to yellow that cast its glow upon an aluminum tree that was incredibly shabby looking.”
But I loved that tree. It was the 70s and aluminum was in, man. We’d watch John Denver and the Muppets do their Christmas special while eating Jiffy Pop popcorn, drinking Fresca and playing with Stretch Armtrong.
In the 80′s I took those big lightbulbs and made myself a rockin’ Christmas necklace. I wore it with my quilted jumper. Oh yes, I looked good.
There’s a house down the street from us with new lights in their yard. They are white…like really blue-white. Like you-can-see-them-from-outer-space-white. Is this the next trend? What will we do with all of the little yellow-white lights we have now? Save them for a few years then string them into some kind of vintage Christmas jewelry?
I’m sure Noah would love to come up with ways to use the broken ones on our front porch tree. That way he wouldn’t have to spend half of today trying to fix them again. OK, OK. I’ll blow $5 and get some new ones. No need to torture the boy anymore.
Maybe I’ll buy the new whiter-than-white lights just for fun.