My Special Gift is Finding the Negative in Anything

Am I the only one disturbed by the fact that it is Thanksgiving week, 2011?

Frankly, the 2011 part is still shocking to me, forget that we have made it back around to another holiday season.

Thanksgiving in our home also begins our official birthday season.  Faith’s b-day is always the same week as Thanksgiving, thus starting a flow of birthday celebrations that lasts until May.  As a mom there is a lot of pressure here.  How do I make their birthdays stand out in the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle.

Since Faith is my shopping girl, she wants to go out on Black Friday as part of her birthday gift.  It seems she has forgotten her mother’s allergy to crowded places.  Oh, the sacrifices we make as mothers.  Not only do I have to fight the masses of holiday shoppers, but I must give up my annual day of lounging on the couch eating leftover pie.  I hope these children realize the suffering I endure for them.  If Black Friday shopping doesn’t convince them I can always remind them of the hours of labor I endured and how I allowed my body to be ripped apart so they would have life.

You can imagine what a joy I am to live with.

While we’re on the subject of joy, how upset am I allowed to get over the fact that child number 4 is turning 16?  One day I was pregnant, pushing a double stroller with three kids hanging onto my skirt.  All of a sudden I wake up to those same babies all taller than me and wearing my shoes.  OK, Jacob doesn’t wear my shoes, at least not that I know of.  But he does other annoying grown-up things like drive a car and have friends I’ve never met.

I am not happy about this situation.  Not one bit.

In this birthday season not only will Faith turn 16….but next month Jacob turns 20.  TWENTY.  This is the same kid that couldn’t remember which was the front yard and which was the backyard.  I mean every time I said, “Go out the back door,” he would run from door to door asking, “Which is the backyard again?”  And now he thinks he’s going to turn 20?  He’s got another thing coming.  I simply cannot allow it.

Maybe next year.  I will be too exhausted from the Black Friday shopping to deal with any other upsets this year.

I’m taking the Scarlett O’Hara approach to life.

I’ll think about it tomorrow.




  1. Oh, man…mine are growing up too and I keep telling them to “stop it!” cause I’m not happy about buying more clothes and more shoes…and just makes me sad, too! I would like to just keep them the age they are – they are precious. But, they refuse to listen!! I’m not looking forward to a 20 year old!

    Becky B.
    Organizing Made Fun

  2. Life has a way of creeping up on you doesn’t it? Just know that I’ll be out there on Black Friday fighting those same crowds. Yay!! I mean, Boo!
    And as far as kids, I’ve asked mine to stop growing and getting older. I’ll see if they listen. My oldest just turned 18 and I’m not happy. LOL! I mean, Boo!
    In the midst of it all I hope you have a lovely day.

  3. I just told my “baby” recently that she’s not allowed to turn nine next week. Somehow I don’t think she’s buying into my plan!!

  4. Lisa,

    My oldest is 22 and a Daddy….My oldest girl, Lindsay will be 20 next month as well, on the first. Then I have 17 (18 in March and is planning a skydive to celebrate), 12, 9 and 6. Sigh.

    I do enjoy them getting older too, but miss their little selves.


  5. i can just see you with your hand to your head! lol.

    my man child wears a size 16 shoe. 16! i continue to wonder at the miracle that he was EVER a small baby. EVER. 🙂

  6. I’m with you; I get stressed out by birthdays and the thought of having to plan as many as you do? Well, girl, you DESERVE some leftover Thanksgiving pie, just for the extra strength to get through it all!

    And I loved the whole backyard/front yard thing. Too funny.

    When my son hit twenty, it was a definite wake up call for me as well. Because you know what? Twenty sounds OLD! And if we have sons in their twenties, well, where does put leave us?

    Not even worth thinking about.

    Pie, anyone?

  7. You know I know EXACTLY what you mean!! We have FORBADE them to grow any older and they blatantly disregard us… to the point of even laughing at us.
    And Thanksgiving? How did that happen? And who said it could happen? I think someone is being sneaky because it surely does NOT look like Thanksgiving out. I mean there is NO snow, we are in the midst of a mild thunderstorm, the temperature is consistently above freezing, and there are still some leaves on the tree and it is still light out…. oh yeah I just got Indiana confused by Alaska. (trust me it is something our youngest, at 12, ugh how did THAT happen?, loves to point out… that there is no snow which he finds just wrong as we moved to alaska when he was 6 and moved back to the lower 48 when he was 11….)
    Have your kids been throwing around the bad number? (you know ..12…shhhhhhhhh if we don’t say it out loud maybe it won’t happen.) we have our 1st graduation in may/june, then it will be a mad dash after that…. I am about ready to put my foot down and say NO MORE of THIS FOOLISHNESS! NO ONE is graduating or turning 18 or 16 or even 13 for that matter!! LOL 🙂
    Hmm I wonder if they left me any coffee this morning… i don’t smell any so i think they divided the pot between the four of them. 🙁
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! and black friday shopping, you dear, dear precious woman! I would say I’ll think of you curled up with a good book on the sofa but I think I’ll be in your same predicament… young one begged to go shopping at midnight and he is just old enough that he can stay awake that long now… i wonder if his legs are long enough to reach the pedals?

  8. The line “friends I never met” makes me smile.

    I am waiting for the day when Kira doesn’t ask which hand is left and which is right and figures out which foot to put her shoes on. I am so afraid she will be twenty and still putting her shoes on the wrong feet!!

  9. As I have said before, I simply love your wit and writing style. Couldn’t you write a book or something?

    My baby is 14 and I wander around in a state of perpetual perplexity wondering how that could have happened. The little rat.

    Happy Thanksgiving and Birthday Season! :-}

    Debbie Mantik

  10. Ditto to everything you wrote. I still want to believe it is 2009 for some reason. Not that it was an exceptionally great year or anything, my mind is just stuck there.

    And the growing up thing, I teeter between enjoying it thoroughly and weeping at the thought of my baby turning five. I know a big cry-fest is coming, I have just been holding off until the “right time” comes along. Do you know what I mean?

  11. I woke up this morning to all of these hilarious comments and now I am laughing out loud and my kids are rushing in to see what’s funny. But I can’t tell them because I don’t think they would enjoy this “room” full of old mothers ranting about their children’s disregard for their mother’s feelings and continuing to have birthdays.

    MamaHen, we will not be discussing babies turning five on this blog. My heart breaks just thinking about it.

    I don’t even want to think about what a size 16 shoe looks like.


  12. I can so relate! My baby turns 13 next week, my oldest turns 25 next month, and I am regularly known as the “fun-sucker” of the family (said complete with sound effects).

  13. Oh my!! Those are HUGE milestones! Bless your mama-heart! Hang in there, dear!! You’re drawing ever closer to HUGE PERKS: precious in-laws, and grandbabies!! 🙂 Trust me, the angst is worth it all! 🙂

  14. My oldest is almost ten. Oh,how did this happen? Sigh. That’s all I have the heart to say today.Lol.

  15. My big boy is 17 next year and will be able to get his P Plates (driver’s license- not sure what you have over there) and my baby will be 5, I can’t believe it, I don’t want to think about it- it is just too scary!!!
    Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  16. You’re hilarious!!! I’m sure if I lived in your house, I’d be rolling on the floor laughing. A lot! But that’s neither here nor there. Well, it’s there, I suppose, since it’s your house. And my house is here. So I guess there is some ‘here and there’ after all. But I digress.

    My oldest turned 18 last month. AGH! How can that be? My youngest is already 16. Working on 17 come March. Since I only have two sons, there’s no other ‘est’ to mention here. Neither wears my shoes (praise God!) and both are much taller than me. And I’m on the taller end for a female at almost 5’8″. They grow much too quickly.

    And Thanksgiving of 2011?!?!? How the heck did that happen? Next thing you know, they’ll be telling us it’s nearly Christmas. And then 2012! No way, I say! We need another month tucked in here between November and December. One free of any sort of holiday whatsoever. We’ll call it Whatember. So you can do whatember you want during it since there’s no pressure of birthdays, holidays, and other such interruptions. Oh, and there will be 41 days in Whatember so it doesn’t pass too quickly.

  17. I am laughing out loud over your son running from door to door trying to find the backyard. It’s such a kid thing. And, really, I don’t blame you for being upset about the birthdays. I, so, totally understand. My daughter will be turning 12 in January and I’m sure that can’t be right. 🙂

  18. That’s my favorite line from GWTW! You need to YouTube search Never Grow Up, by Taylor Swift. It is the sweetest song, and I cry almost every time I listen to it . Happy Thanksgiving!


  19. Oh- I forgot to mention, my husband’s birthday is December 18th, my anniversary is the 23rd, and my daughter’s birthday is the 28th! How’s that for a busy holiday?;)


  20. Oh, man. I’ve been avoiding this post for a few days because I kept thinking, “Negative?? Really? Why do I want to read that…???” but I so should have known, there’s really nothing truly negative in you, at least, not in the you that you put on the blog. I’ll have to one day meet you in person and see if that holds true…….

    I so relate. I wrote a post a few days ago about my oldest being 14 and reading Poe. Edgar Allen Poe. How do I have a kid old enough to read Poe?! How is the little 4 pound something preemie now as tall as me??? With the same size shoe as his father?? Crazy. Delightful, but crazy.

    Someone else said teetering on the edge between enjoy and wish it would stop; yes, I am right there too. So grateful to have in my house a wide age range; take delight in that, Lisa. I love the age spread I have and I imagine it is even more delightful at your house…20 to 4. Wow. (I have 14 to 6). Such a joy!

    Hug ’em and love ’em, as I’m sure you do.

  21. Hmmm, Katie can’t figure out the front yard/back yard thing either. Pointing works nicely for her. We have 4 bdays during Thanksgiving week. We are now broke 😉