I know I am a loud mouth about training children. I believe firmly that children should obey their parents, keep their rooms clean, do chores and contribute to the family. I have taught my children these things and they have perfected it….perfected it to the point of being annoying.
They put away everything….everything. Even if I don’t want them to. All day long things being put back in their place with me wandering around looking for them. I know what you’re thinking. 1) “Is she serious? She’s going to complain that her kids are TOO NEAT?!?!?!” 2) “This woman should come to my house and have my problems.”
Stay with me here. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. At least twice daily I think I am losing my mind because of these neat freaks. This is what happens:
Me: “Where’s the fork I just set out for my salad?” One of them: “Oops! Sorry Mommy, I washed it and put it away.”
“Where are those scissors I was just using?” “Oh I’m sorry Mommy, I put them back in the sewing room.”
Where’s the towel I just got to dry the dishes? In the cabinet. Where’s the ball I just got out to play with Levi? Toy box. The cell phone I was just using? Charger. Tape? Drawer. Book? Shelf. ACK!!!
Last week my friend Pennie left her phone cord in my car so we made arrangements for me to leave it on the front porch for her to pick up. When she got here she looked all over, couldn’t find it then finally knocked on the door. My kids had seen it on the porch and put it away in my bedroom with my other cords. Drat those tidy children!
When I was expecting Noah, my midwife came to my house for all of my prenatals. She was a relaxed kind of gal and would kick her shoes off when she walked in the door. EVERY time she went to leave her shoes were gone. My kids had put them in my closet.
It’s like living with elves…you remember the ones….that came into the shoemaker’s shop at night and made all of the shoes. Except in that story the Shoemaker and his wife live happily ever after. In my story the mother gets carried away in a straight-jacket.
Once when I was cleaning the boys’ bathroom I set my wedding ring on the edge of their sink. Noah decided to protect it so he picked it up and put it on the bedside table in my room. Patience saw it there, thought it was misplaced and carried it to the kitchen to give it to me, but I wasn’t there so she set it on the shelf over the kitchen sink. By this time I had discovered that it was missing and was going all over the house looking for it. Hope saw it in the kitchen, remembered me saying, “Never leave a ring on the shelf over the kitchen sink,” so she picked it up and put it on the mantle where she thought it would be safe. Grace sees it on the mantle, knows it doesn’t belong there so she puts it in the….wait for it….the BOYS’ BATHROOM where she knows I am working. The ring had made it back around to its original spot. I spent more time looking for it than I did cleaning the bathroom.
So, the next time you set your drink down and walk away, think of me when you come back and it is still there. When you are reading a book and have to go to the bathroom…be glad your book is waiting for you when you return.
And whatever you do…don’t wish for someone else’s life. You never know what insanity lurks around in their house.